Marlins bus
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They’re gonna ship the sick Marlins back home on a bus

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Pop quiz, hot shot!

There are eighteen members of the Marlins traveling party infected with COVID-19 in a hotel in Philly. They live in Miami. You can’t fly if you are infected but the mini bar bill is gettin’ pretty big and everyone misses their wives and kids, so you gotta get ’em home.

What do you do? What do you do?!

It’s about an 18 hour drive to Miami from Philadelphia. And no, I have no idea how you get someone to volunteer to drive a bus with a dozen and a people infected with an outrageously contagious, untreatable and incurable disease 1,200 miles, but I have to assume there is some danger pay involved. Maybe the upside to this is that someone could write a pretty spiffy screenplay out of this, and it may as well be you? I dunno. Just spitballin’ here.

Anyway, in case you think that the 2020 baseball season has not turned dystopian enough, we are about to have plague ships full of baseball players roaming the eastern seaboard.

Joe Kelly’s suspension reduced to 5 games on appeal

Joe Kelly suspended eight
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LOS ANGELES — Los Angeles Dodgers reliever Joe Kelly had his suspension for throwing pitches near the heads of Houston hitters reduced to five games on appeal.

Kelly was originally penalized eight games by Major League Baseball on July 29, a day after throwing a 96 mph fastball near the head of Houston’s Alex Bregman and two curveballs that brushed back Carlos Correa.

The Dodgers on Wednesday confirmed the reduced penalty.

Kelly went on the 10-day injured list retroactive to last Sunday with right shoulder inflammation. He will serve his suspension when he returns.

After striking out Corea, Kelly curled his lip into a pouting expression and exchanged words with the shortstop.

Benches cleared after Kelly’s actions during the sixth inning of Los Angeles’ 5-2 win at Houston in the teams’ first meeting since it was revealed the Astros stole signs en route to a 2017 World Series title over the Dodgers.

Dodgers manager Dave Roberts served his one-game suspension the same day the penalty was handed down. Astros manager Dusty Baker was fined an undisclosed amount.

Kelly denied that he purposely threw at the Astros. He has previously been suspended in his career for throwing at a batter.

The penalties were imposed by former pitcher Chris Young, MLB’s senior vice president of baseball operations, who issued his first ruling since taking over the job from Joe Torre.