Behold, the new Phillie Phanatic - MLB

Our friends at NBC Sports Philadelphia recently reported that the Phillies were making changes to their iconic mascot, the Phanatic. The Internet collectively recoiled in horror at the news, and rightfully so. The Phanatic is an icon, a paragon of mascotdom, the furry green troublemaker we all want to be when we grow up. Who among us hasn’t giggled at the lovable plus-sized Galapagos Islands native? The dude has a buggy with a hotdog cannon mounted on the back. Your mascot could never.

It’s only natural that these changes are being caused by lawyers (sorry, Craig). The Phillies and the designers of the Phanatic have been reportedly bickering for a few years about the rights to the mascot and subsequent payment for those rights. So, the Phanatic is getting a bit of a makeover that will theoretically circumvent the legalese. Remember kids, everything fun will eventually be sullied by legally binding contracts.

Our Philadelphia-based counterparts have now provided a look at the newly legally-compliant (golly that just feels so antithetical to having Big Philadelphia Energy) Phanatic. Feast your eyes:

The changes aren’t too bad. The Phanatic apparently went on a diet. Like everyone else in spring training, he’s in the best shape of his life. He’s also got new shoes and socks, and a shorter snout. His arms seem to be more… wing-like? All in all the new stuff isn’t atrocious, but it’s a devastating blow to everyone who loves furry green dad-bod pelvic thrusts.

This is one of those things that we’ll barely notice in a few years, but dumb changes like these stink. Give us the old Phanatic back.

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CARSON CITY, Nev. — A bill introduced in the Nevada Legislature would give the Oakland Athletics up to $380 million for a potential 30,000 seat, $1.5 billion retractable roof stadium on the Las Vegas Strip.

The bulk of the public funding would come from $180 million in transferable tax credits from the state and $120 million in county bonds, which can vary based on interest rate returns. Clark County also would contribute $25 million in credit toward infrastructure costs.

The A’s have been looking for a home to replace Oakland Coliseum, where the team has played since arriving from Kansas City for the 1968 season. The team had sought to build a stadium in Fremont, San Jose and finally the Oakland waterfront, all ideas that never materialized.

The plan in the Nevada Legislature won’t directly raise taxes. It can move forward with a simply majority vote in the Senate and Assembly. Lawmakers have a little more than a week to consider the proposal before they adjourn June 5, though it could be voted on if a special session is called.

The Athletics have agreed to use land on the southern end of the Las Vegas Strip, where the Tropicana Las Vegas casino resort sits. Oakland Mayor Sheng Thao has said he is disappointed the team didn’t negotiate with Oakland as a “true partner.”

Las Vegas would be the fourth home for a franchise that started as the Philadelphia Athletics from 1901-54. It would become the smallest TV market in Major League Baseball and the smallest market to be home to three major professional sports franchises.

The team and Las Vegas are hoping to draw from the nearly 40 million tourists who visit the city annually to help fill the stadium. The 30,000-seat capacity would make it the smallest MLB stadium.

MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred said a vote on the Oakland Athletics’ prospective move to Las Vegas could take place when owners meet June 13-15 in New York.

The plan faces an uncertain path in the Nevada Legislature. Democratic leaders said financing bills, including for the A’s, may not go through if Republican Gov. Joe Lombardo vetoes the five budget bills, which he has threatened to do as many of his priorities have stalled or faded in the Democratic-controlled Legislature.

Under the bill, the Clark County Board of Commissioners would create a homelessness prevention and assistance fund along the stadium’s area in coordination with MLB and the Nevada Resort Association. There, they would manage funds for services, including emergency rental and utility assistance, job training, rehabilitation and counseling services for people experiencing or at risk of homelessness.

The lease agreement with the Las Vegas Stadium Authority would be up for renewal after 30 years.

Nevada’s legislative leadership is reviewing the proposal, Democratic state Assembly Speaker Steve Yeager said in a statement.

“No commitment will be made until we have both evaluated the official proposal and received input from interested parties, including impacted community members,” Yeager said.