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Bruce Bochy should retire before tonight’s game

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I love Bruce Bochy.

I love him because I think he’s a good manager who, I think, deserves to be in the Hall of Fame. I love him because a few years ago when I ranked him the ugliest manager in major league baseball he thought it was amusing and — even though it possibly inspired a coronary event — he decided against pounding me into a think pasty goo. I love him because I once saw him at the hotel bar at the Winter Meetings hanging out with some friends and he seemed to be enjoying the hell out of himself, laughing and joking and doing all of the things that suggest he’s living his best life.

But I really, really need Bochy to retire this afternoon, before has has a chance to manage another game, as opposed to sticking to his plan and retiring at season’s end. Why? Because of this:

and this:

That’s right. Bochy began managing in 1995 and is ending his managerial career in 2019 . . . and his career record is 1995-2019!! That’s too perfect!! The universe demands this kind of symmetry!

I know the Giants close the season with a six-game home stand this year and that the team likely has all kinds of ceremonies and gifts and stuff planned out, but really Bruce: call last night’s defeat to the Pirates your last game, hand the reins over to an interim manager and walk off into the sunset. Yes it will cost you 2,000 career wins, but ten other guys have done that. If you stop short, it’ll help you go out with one-of-a-kind symmetry.

(Hat tip to my friend Lee for pointing this out to me after he saw it on Reddit; other folks noticed this today as well)

Video: Jorge Soler launches first home run of spring training

Jorge Soler
Associated Press
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The Royals and Rangers played the first game of spring training today. A few other teams (the Red Sox, Tigers and Twins) played or are currently playing college squads, but Kansas City-Texas is our first matchup of big league teams. Baseball’s back, baby! And you know what baseball means?

Kansas City’s Jorge Soler, who hit 48 homers last year to lead the American League, offered us the year’s first glimpse at recreational baseball murder when he took Kolby Allard out over the left field yard.

Mmm. That’s the good stuff. Here’s to eight and a half months more of that. Bring me the dingers.

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