Bruce Willis bounces ceremonial first pitch in Philly

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Bruce Willis, famous for such films as “Color of Night,” “Hart’s War,” and “Lucky Number Slevin,” — movies I cite because I am not gonna bend over backwards to make “Die Hard” and “Moonlighting” puns like everyone else writing about this — was in Philadelphia last night to throw out the first pitch before the Brewers-Phillies game.

The connection: Willis grew up in South Jersey and was a Phillies fan as a kid. He also once used his super strength to save some kidnapped children from a sadistic janitor while wearing a hooded rain poncho somewhere in the Philadelphia area.

The first pitch: not too great, as the man famous for singing the “🎶Seagram’s . . .GOLDEN wine coooler . . . it’s wet and it’s dry . . . MY, MY, MY, MY🎶” song in those commercials that some of us of a certain age remember, bounced it in the dirt:

Eh, it happens.

After the game someone actually asked manager Gabe Kapler if “Die Hard” was a Christmas movie:

“I maintain, not a Christmas movie,” Kapler said during a lively debate with beat writers in his office. “Aren’t most Christmas movies centered around the celebration of Christmas in some way or another?”

Um, Gabe? Do you not remember this part?

Who among us has not had a less festive celebration of Christmas with our families than that?

Oh hey, look what I found:

You’re welcome.