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Behold: the most depressing rumor of the hot stove season

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It’s been a total drag of a hot stove season, with few teams doing all that much to improve themselves and none, really, doing anything bold. We have four of the top free agents, and over 100 in all, still looking for work. We have so much front office cloudspeak circulating that it’s numbing my brain.

It’s getting so bad that I’m starting to imagine what life would be like if major league baseball operations executives ran the world if a disaster hit.

Like, say, Thanos appears and begins to wreak havoc. The Earth is in ruins. Evil forces are running amok. Our only hope is for a team superheroes to save us. In walks, Gleek the monkey from “The Superfriends,” John C. Reilly’s character from “Guardians of the Galaxy,” and, like, Dollar Bill from “Watchmen,” at which point some general manager says, “I like our team. I’m comfortable with how we look. Would we like to have Iron Man and The Hulk? Sure, who wouldn’t? But we have to make sure what we do fits with our model.”

Against that backdrop appeared the most depressing rumor of the hot stove season:

I’m not sure what’s more depressing: two of the richest teams in baseball thinking about how to mitigate bad money concerns or the notion that the Giants might actually feature Jacoby Ellsbury in center field at some point. Thirty-five combined World Series titles and sixty-three combined pennants between them and the most interesting rumor about them this week is that they’re considering a garbage swap. The mind reels.

Anyway, pitchers and catchers report in like a week. Are you pumped? I’m totally pumped.

Orioles set new MLB record with 259th home run allowed

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A third-inning solo home run by Austin Meadows off of Asher Wojciechowski on Thurday night marked the 259th home run Orioles pitching has allowed this season, setting a new major league record, per MASN’s Roch Kubatko. The previous record was held by the 2016 Reds at 258. Willie Adames hit No. 260, a game-tying solo shot in the fifth inning. The Orioles will have 34 more games to add on to their record after tonight.

The Yankees have famously accounted for 61 of the 260 home runs (23.5%) against Orioles pitchers this season. The Red Sox are next at 28 followed by the Twins and Blue Jays at 23 each.

David Hess has accounted for the most home runs on the O’s staff, yielding 28 dingers. Dylan Bundy is next at 25 homers allowed.

The Orioles are not the only team that will pass the 2016 Reds. The Mariners are on pace to allow 275 home runs. The Yankees, 266. Phillies, 262. Angels, 259. Pretty amazing.