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Kevin Quackenbush signs minor league deal with Dodgers

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The Dodgers have signed righty Kevin Quackenbush to a minor league contract. Yes, this is what is passing for news today. Don’t yell at me. I just work here.

Quackebush spent four seasons in the Padres pen before signing with the Reds last offseason. His stint with the Reds lasted all of ten games in April before he was sent down the the minors for the rest of the year. Those ten big league games were awful — he allowed 11 runs in nine innings of work — but he was pretty good at Louisville, posting a 2.68 ERA in 47 games while striking out 10.7 batters per nine innings of work while not walking many.

He may still very well be a minor league reliever next year, but perhaps he figured things out in his four months on the farm.

Bryce Harper is pandering hard to Philly fans

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Bryce Harper hadn’t even addressed his new hometown fans before his Phillies jersey started selling like hotcakes. Since then, he’s said all the expected things. Talking about joining the Phillies, he said, “From day one, it felt right … I always talk about family and being a family, being one unit, and I get that from this team. Every guy has your back and vice versa. I’m very excited to go into battle with these guys.”

Harper is continuing to pander hard to Phillies fans. Behold his latest Instagram post:

Has anyone ever really longed to see the Liberty Bell?

Harper also famously recreated that Chase Utley scene from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia with actor Rob McElhenney on Twitter:

In Harper’s next post, he will talk about alternating bottles of You-eng-ling beers with glasses of “wooder.” He’ll add that every so often he will treat himself to a steak sandwich with cheese on it, then go home to watch all of the movies in the Rocky series.