There is not much more idiotic and reductive than lumping tens of millions of people who happened to be born during an arbitrary span of years into some cartoonish generational stereotype.
Or, not. I dunno. Maybe my opinion on this is just too cynical, lazy and disaffected. I am a Gen-Xer after all. Whatever, man.
Either way, turn your attention to the latest attention-seeking minor league promotion. It’s from the Montgomery Biscuits of the Double-A Southern League. They’re holding “Millennial Night” next Saturday. Here’s how they’re teasing it:
No word on when they’ll have “Baby Boomer Night.” That’s when fans born between 1946 and 1964 get in super cheap, are taught that they’re entitled to everything and are allowed to wreck the damn place. When the game is over they invite the Millennials in — charging them ten times as much — and make the Millennials pay for cleaning up while yelling at them about how ungrateful and lazy they are. It’s a wild scene.
My guess: this is a fake promotion, designed to drum up social media and internet outrage, to which I suppose I’m contributing. But (a) if it gets more people out to a ballgame, cool; and (b) if the backlash jokes it inspires makes even one Baby Boomer realize how thoroughly they’ve turned their back on their youthful ideals and have ruined the world for subsequent generations, it’s all worth it.
Bryce Harper, who said he was tired after taking his cuts in the first round, certainly appeared gassed in the final round. So, too, did his dad, who was throwing to him. But Harper caught fire, going on a tear and tying Kyle Schwarber with 18 home runs before time expired in the final round of the 2018 Home Run Derby. Harper unlocked 30 seconds of bonus time by hitting two home runs at least 440 feet. With his second swing in bonus time, Harper homered to straightaway center field for No. 19. He tossed his bat in celebration, grabbed his trophy, then gave it to his dad before he was mobbed on the field by his All-Star teammates.
Harper hit 13 home runs in the first round, eliminating Freddie Freeman and advancing to the semifinals. In the semis, Harper topped Max Muncy 13-12 to advance to the finals. On Schwarber’s side of the bracket, he bested Alex Bregman 16-15, then defeated Rhys Hoskins 21-20.
Harper is the first member of the Nationals (or Expos) to win the Home Run Derby. Harper participated in the 2013 Derby but finished in second place behind Yoenis Céspedes. Harper is also the first left-handed hitter to win the Derby since Prince Fielder in 2012. The only players to win the Derby in their home park are Todd Frazier in 2015 and Ryne Sandberg in 1990.
As a spectator, the 2018 Home Run Derby was tons of fun. The four-minute clock adds a lot of tension and intrigue even to the initial rounds. Seeing teammates cheer and get excited for their teammates in the Derby is really fun. Of course, watching dinger after dinger is cool, too. Can’t wait for next year.