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Kyle Lohse retires

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Pitcher Kyle Lohse announced his retirement from baseball via his Instagram page on Thursday:

Lohse, 39, signed a minor league contract with the Royals at the end of March. He spent April in extended spring training, then reported to Triple-A Omaha earlier this month. He struggled in two starts, giving up 12 runs on 17 hits and five walks with five strikeouts in 8 2/3 innings. The Royals released him on Thursday evening, which likely prompted his announcement.

Lohse pitched parts of 16 seasons in the majors with the Twins, Cardinals, Brewers, Reds, Rangers, and Phillies. In 418 starts and 39 relief appearances, the right-hander compiled a 4.40 ERA with 1,615 strikeouts and 694 walks over 2,531 2/3 innings. Lohse’s best year came in 2012 when he finished seventh in NL Cy Young Award balloting, going 16-3 with a 2.86 ERA for the Cardinals.

Bryce Harper is pandering hard to Philly fans

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Bryce Harper hadn’t even addressed his new hometown fans before his Phillies jersey started selling like hotcakes. Since then, he’s said all the expected things. Talking about joining the Phillies, he said, “From day one, it felt right … I always talk about family and being a family, being one unit, and I get that from this team. Every guy has your back and vice versa. I’m very excited to go into battle with these guys.”

Harper is continuing to pander hard to Phillies fans. Behold his latest Instagram post:

Has anyone ever really longed to see the Liberty Bell?

Harper also famously recreated that Chase Utley scene from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia with actor Rob McElhenney on Twitter:

In Harper’s next post, he will talk about alternating bottles of You-eng-ling beers with glasses of “wooder.” He’ll add that every so often he will treat himself to a steak sandwich with cheese on it, then go home to watch all of the movies in the Rocky series.