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Astros adopt new fan during Saturday Night Live

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Saturday Night Live continued its tradition of inviting World Series players to do bizarre stuff on live TV, playing host to Jose Altuve, George Springer and Alex Bregman during a goofy segment of Weekend Update on Saturday.

If you haven’t seen SNL cast member Leslie Jones on Weekend Update before, here’s a brief overview of her typical Update segments: She tends to overshare about some aspect of her love life and hits on Update anchor and head SNL writer Colin Jost throughout her interviews. It’s not the most original bit, but she brings an energy to the piece that makes it entertaining, if not amusing.

That was the basic plot of SNL’s latest segment: Jones starts by complimenting Jost, which eventually feeds into her monologue about watching Yankees postseason baseball as a new fan and heckling players from the stands. “Hey, Gregorius! You can round my bases any time, because you are Gregor-geous!” she blurts. She then fixates on the Astros, comparing Springer to a “goofy mattress salesman” and cracking jokes about Altuve’s height — and, predictably, turns around to find them standing behind her.

“Since we already know that you don’t actually watch baseball, we’d really like to give you a gift today,” Springer says, awkwardly proffering some free swag. Jones seems genuinely delighted, but can’t resist the urge to give them the Colin Jost treatment and pulls a red-faced Jose Altuve into her lap. “Come here,” she coos. “Let me tell you something. Now, this is not something I usually say at all — I mean, never — but good things do come in small packages.”

You can watch the full skit below:

The Astros may not have gotten the full perks accorded to the Cubs after their 2016 championship run, but they definitely got a taste of the weirdness that is Saturday Night Live (albeit without the striptease, dead grandma or barbershop quartet featured in last year’s sketches). Unfortunately, nothing has quite lived up to “Derek Jeter’s Taco Hole” — and given last night’s cameo, I’m not sure anything ever will.

Kendrys Morales pitched a scoreless inning Sunday

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Nothing went right for the Blue Jays this weekend. The club was swept in a four-game series against the Athletics, including a 9-2 loss on Sunday. Not wanting to burn out his bullpen in a lopsided game — and perhaps thinking about the general entertainment value involved — Blue Jays manager John Gibbons decided to send designated hitter Kendrys Morales out to pitch the ninth inning. And in typical baseball fashion, he saw better results than some of the dudes who do this all the time.

Morales, who actually pitched in Cuba nearly 20 years ago, worked around a walk for a scoreless inning. He induced three fly outs and topped out at 87.4 mph on his fastball, per Brooks Baseball. He received a standing ovation on the way back to the dugout. Morales hasn’t been hearing that sort of thing for his contributions with the bat recently.

Morales, 34, is batting just .163/.248/.279 with three home runs through 32 games this season. There’s been some understandable clamoring for top prospect Vladmir Guerrero, Jr. to cut into his at-bats. For his part, Morales has been doing everything he can to break out of his slumber at the plate, including ditching the glasses he started wearing during spring training. Hey, whatever works. Morales also had two of Toronto’s four hits on Sunday.

On the heels of Morales’ first MLB appearance on the mound, it feels rather appropriate that the Blue Jays will get their first look at Angels sensation Shohei Ohtani — at least as a hitter — beginning on Tuesday.