Cubs selling leaves of 2016 Wrigley Field Ivy for $200

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Everyone wants a piece of history. The Chicago Cubs know this. And they’re capitalizing on it: the club sent emails to season-ticket holders on Tuesday offering to sell them leaves of Wrigley Field ivy from the 2016 season.

The cost: $200 per leaf. Plus $15 shipping and handling. The email said that there are, appropriately, 2,016 ivy leaves available. Limit ten per customer. I assume there is a certificate of authenticity involved. It’d be a shame if you were sold fake foliage.

This is nothing new, of course. The Yankees and a lot of other teams have sold dirt — just dirt from the field — for a significant chunk of change. The Chicago Blackhawks once sold melted ice from their 2013 Stanley Cup championship season. Melted ice is, of course, just water. It set you back $99 if you wanted some.

It’s your money. Do what you want with it. But know that, if you spend $200 for a dang ivy leaf, you WILL be cited in some article chronicling the degeneracy and downfall of western civilization some day. Don’t say you weren’t warned.

Not that it’s all bad. With the ivy gone we’ll be better able to see the wall the purchasers of the ivy will be lined up against when the revolution comes.