BREAKING: A minor league team is wearing a jersey covered in cats

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If I found a genie in a lamp just now, two of my three wishes would be (1) winning the Mega Millions tonight; and (2) making a single time-travel trip to 2002 in order to convince Fox not to cancel “Firefly.” I think we can all agree that that’s how we’d use two of our wishes. They’re fairly non-negotiable.

Wish number three could be “world peace,” “immortality” or “Carla Gugino lifting that totally bogus restraining order,” but to be honest, it’d probably now be “Kevin Kiermaier gets traded to the Phillies and immediately goes on a rehab assignment with the Lakewood BlueClaws.” Why? Because of this:

https://twitter.com/BlueClaws/status/750381828809191424/photo/1

 

For those unaware of why this would be perfect for Kiermaier, you can read that here.

Now: who’s getting me that jersey? I take a large.