A lot of times those mascot races between innings at the ballpark are rigged. I know, I’m shocked too, but they are.
Sometimes you’ll see two mascots gang up on a third. Sometimes they’ll get outside help, professional wrestling-style, to sabotage whoever is in the lead. There’s just no integrity to that whole business. Someone ought to do something about it because corruption in all forms is bad.
Sometimes though there are actual accidents. Like when the race goes on so long that it interferes with the players taking the field in between innings and your star second baseman runs into the freakin’ ketchup mascot during the hot dog race:
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It’s all fun and games as long as the underpaid intern in the hot dog suit hits the deck. If Kipnis tore his ACL we’d be having a different conversation, I’m sure.
HOUSTON — Jose Abreu and the World Series champion Astros agreed to a three-year contract, adding another powerful bat to Houston’s lineup.
Abreu, the 2020 AL MVP, spent his first nine major league seasons with the Chicago White Sox. The first baseman became a free agent after batting .304 with 15 home runs, 75 RBIs and an .824 OPS this year.
With the Astros, he replaces Yuli Gurriel at first base in a batting order that also features All-Star sluggers Yordan Alvarez, Jose Altuve, Alex Bregman and Kyle Tucker.
Gurriel became a free agent after Houston defeated the Philadelphia Phillies this month for its second World Series championship.
The 35-year-old Abreu becomes the biggest free agent to switch teams so far this offseason. Born in Cuba, the three-time All-Star and 2014 AL Rookie of the Year is a .292 career hitter in the majors with 243 homers, 863 RBIs and an .860 OPS.
The Astros announced the signing. Abreu is scheduled to be introduced in a news conference at Minute Maid Park.