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The Padres were historically shelled on Opening Day

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Isn’t it bad enough the Padres had to face Clayton Kershaw — the best pitcher in baseball — on Opening Day? Can’t the baseball gods cut them a little slack? Apparently not, as the Dodgers’ offense was as unstoppable as Kershaw. And nobody homered.

Yeah, Kershaw did his thing. The lefty went seven innings, allowed only one hit and one walk while striking out nine. As if you’d expect anything else from the three-time Cy Young Award winner.

On offense, both Chase Utley and Adrian Gonzalez had three hits each. Gonzalez had three rib-eyes, as did A.J. Ellis. Utley, Corey Seager, and Trayce Thompson had two each. Every starter in the Dodgers’ lineup, including Kershaw, had at least one hit and one run scored.

The game was competitive through five innings, but the Dodgers broke out for five runs in the fifth inning against Tyson Ross and it started when Puig was hit by a pitch with one out. The Dodgers then got five consecutive hits, turning a 3-0 lead into an 8-0 lead.

The Dodgers tacked on three more in the seventh on a Thompson two-run double and an Utley RBI single. It continued into the eighth with four more runs, which included Puig tripling into a Little League home run. The game ended, mercifully, in a 15-0 Dodgers victory.

Per Bill Center, it’s the worst Opening Day shutout loss in major league history and the worst Opening Day loss in the Padres’ history. Ouch.

Orioles set new MLB record with 259th home run allowed

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Update (9:04 PM EST): The game went into a rain delay with one out in the bottom of the fifth inning of a 2-2 tie, so the game isn’t official yet. Which means the Orioles aren’t yet the official record holders.

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A third-inning solo home run by Austin Meadows off of Asher Wojciechowski on Thurday night marked the 259th home run Orioles pitching has allowed this season, setting a new major league record, per MASN’s Roch Kubatko. The previous record was held by the 2016 Reds at 258. Willie Adames hit No. 260, a game-tying solo shot in the fifth inning. The Orioles will have 34 more games to add on to their record after tonight.

The Yankees have famously accounted for 61 of the 260 home runs (23.5%) against Orioles pitchers this season. The Red Sox are next at 28 followed by the Twins and Blue Jays at 23 each.

David Hess has accounted for the most home runs on the O’s staff, yielding 28 dingers. Dylan Bundy is next at 25 homers allowed.

The Orioles are not the only team that will pass the 2016 Reds. The Mariners are on pace to allow 275 home runs. The Yankees, 266. Phillies, 262. Angels, 259. Pretty amazing.