Barry Bonds just beat all the Marlins hitters in a home run contest


There is no context for this yet apart from this tweet. I’m sure the story will come. But for now let the record reflect, courtesy of Craig Mish, that Barry Bonds just beat the Marlins players on a back field batting practice home run contest. All players. “Including Stanton.”

I don’t know if the players had a handicap. I don’t care if Giancarlo Stanton was batting left-handed. I don’t care if Bonds was hitting golf balls with a driver while the players were facing full-speed BP from Jose Fernandez. I’m just gonna let my 1990s-2000s self enjoy this bit of news about the greatest hitter I ever saw in my lifetime beating a bunch of major leaguers in a home run hitting contest at age 51.

Then I’m gonna imagine that he rode off into the sunset on the back of a bear with some whistling Spaghetti western theme music playing as he disappeared, too weird too live, too rare to die.