Phil Coke agrees to a minor league deal with the Braves

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I can’t tell you how excited I am for the 2016 Braves season, fellas. A truly memorable roster is being assembled. There’s, um, that guy. And, uh, whatshisface. And who can forget old uh . . . yeah, him! Come over here, you. I LOVE that sonofagun! Remember the thing with the guy in the place? I’ll never forget it.

Added to that great group of fellas is Phil Coke. Who, according to Chris Lott, just signed a minor league deal with Atlanta.

Coke is an eight-year veteran of the Yankees, Tigers, Cubs and (just barely) the Blue Jays. He has no business pitching to anyone but lefties, but even they got to him in 2015 to the tune of .286/.333/.464, which is too much for a lefty specialist. Overall he simply allows too many hits and walks too many dudes to be given work in high leverage situations. Even if Jim Leyland used to, inexplicably, put him into games in a lot of high leverage situations. He’s fun to watch anyway. At least if he’s not pitching for your team in a situation that matters.

But hey, it’s the Braves, and they’re not going to have any high leverage situations in 2016, at least in the cosmic sense. It’s a depth move. You can never have enough depth. And old lefties never die. They just lend themselves to more and more fun on social media:

 

Welcome to the party, pal.