Dude, if you ask where your car is after you willingly leave it on the streets of Chicago for over a month, we’re gonna shake our heads. If anyone writes about this and uses the “Dude, where’s my car?” headline, we’re gonna level heavy fines and possibly authorize low-level violence.
Now that that’s out of the way, know that Doug Padilla of ESPN Chicago reports that White Sox reliever Scott Carroll was sent down to Triple-A in early August. When he was sent down, he parked his Cadillac Escalade on a city street, figuring he’d be called back up to Chicago on September 1 when the rosters expanded. He wasn’t, though. He was just called up the other day. And, yep, his car was gone:
“[It was] stolen near Wicker Park off of Damen Avenue, so if anyone knows of a Cadillac Escalade driving around there, that would help out,” Carroll said. “I was gone in Charlotte the whole time, and it was stolen while I was gone. I came back to get my stuff and drive back home, and it was gone.”
There was a time, not terribly long ago, when that was not a great neighborhood. But if my Chicago-fu is correct, it’s now a gentrified-out-the-butt part of the city, so I guess a big ass Cadillac could, at least theoretically, be safe there for a while. Still seems like that’s pushing it, though. And if you make enough to have that car, you make enough to afford a garage or have a buddy drive it down to Charlotte for you or something.