And That Happened: Thursday’s scores and highlights

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Tigers 8, Royals 6: Victor Martinez homered twice and drove in five runs, but it was Ian Kinsler’s two-run walkoff homer which ended this one. The Tigers took two of three from division-leading Kansas City and now sit three and a half out in the wild card. It’s highly unlikely they’ll leap over all of the teams ahead of them but, if they manage it, do they get backsies on David Price, or what?

Brewers 10, Padres 1: Khris Davis hit two three-run homers and Matt Garza had no trouble with the Padres lineup, allowing only two hits in seven innings. Davis’ homers came off of Odrisamer Despaigne and Kevin Quackenbush. We should maybe check with the Elias Sports Bureau first, but I’m gonna wager that no batter in MLB history has ever hit two homers in a game off of pitchers with more combined letters in their names than Davis did here.

Astros 5, Athletics 4: Jed Lowrie had a throwing error in the ninth that allowed Oakland to score twice and force extra innings. But then he hit an RBI double off Edward Mujica with two outs in the 10th. Counter Intelligence is going over the video of this to see if the error was truly a mistake and if the double wasn’t just a means of making Houston brass believe he is not an A’s agent planted deep within the Astros organization. Really, when it comes Lowrie, the Astros and the Athletics, it’s hard to know where allegiances truly lie.

Dodgers 10, Phillies 8: You figure if you score six runs on seven hits in six innings off of Zack Greinke — five of which come in the first inning before he retires any of you — that you’re living right. But then your starter gives up seven runs in four innings, including a homer and two other hits to Greinke himself and, nah, you ain’t. Not a pretty game here at all. The six runs Greinke gave up in the first three innings here match the number of runs he gave up in his previous nine starts combined. But hey, a win.

Cardinals 3, Reds 0: Michael Wacha and three relievers combine to shut out the Reds. St. Louis held Cincy scoreless for the last 18 innings of this series. Reds starter Michael Lorenzen is 0-5 in his last seven starts.

Nationals 8, Diamondbacks 3: Rookie Joe Ross allowed a run and five hits while striking out seven in six innings and then, after the game, learned that the guy he was replacing in the rotation, Doug Fister, was being demoted to the bullpen. Bryce Harper reached base all three times he came to the plate and scored twice. His line on the year: .334/.461/.666. Hail Satan.

Braves 9, Marlins 8: Andrew McKirahan got his first career win and Arodys Vizcaino got his first career save. Both of them served 80-game suspensions for PEDs this year. Hail Hydra.

Yankees 2, Red Sox 1: The second 2-1 game between these two. If it wasn’t for that ugly 13-3 thing on Tuesday this series would probably challenge for the lowest-scoring Yankees-Red Sox series in recent history. As it was, CC Sabathia actually pitched well, allowing one run in six innings, A-Rod doubled in a run and Jacoby Ellsbury homered to put the Yankees ahead for good. Now New York faces a big series against the Jays this weekend.

Blue Jays 9, Twins 3: Mark Buehrle won — it was his 30th win against Minnesota in his career — and Edwin Encarnacion went 3-for-4 with four RBIs and scored twice. Also hit his 250th career homer. The Jays complete a four-game sweep of Minnesota, knocking the fading Twins back to .500 and putting them behind both the Rangers and the Orioles for the second wild card slot. Seems like the Cinderella phase of Minnesota’s season is over. Three games in the Bronx for Toronto now.

Cubs 5, Giants 4: The Cubs win their seventh of eight thanks to a Kyle Schwarber three- run homer and a Jorge Soler bases-loaded single. Jason Hammel was kinda miffed after the game that Joe Maddon pulled him in the fifth inning when he was in trouble, but they said afterward they’re on the same page. I’m assuming Maddon and him “rapped it out,” as the cool kids said and then were all copacetic. Joe Maddon is hip and knows how to talk to today’s youth.

Orioles catcher Jesús Sucre retired the White Sox in order last night

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The Orioles don’t yet have the worst record in baseball. They’re tied for the most losses with 16, but they have two more wins than the Marlins and one more than the Royals, so let’s say that they have overachieved to this point. Kudos to being a bit plucky in the early going!

But make no mistake: the Orioles are not a good team and I suspect they will soon be the worst in the league. When they are, they will likely get blown out quite often and when they are blown out they will put position players on the mound more than almost any other team. Heck, they’ve done it three times already this year and the season is only three weeks old.

The latest Orioles position player to pitch was catcher Jesús Sucre, who took the mound in last night’s 12-2 loss to the White Sox. And he wasn’t half bad! He retired the side in order and needed only nine pitches to do so:

There once was a time when it was a novelty to see a position player pitching. It happens all the time now, partially because of blowouts, partially because teams have decided it’s better to get embarrassed a bit than to burn a bullpen arm in a game they’ve given up trying to win.

I suspect the Orioles will take the practice to a whole new level in 2019, though. For better or for worse.