Stan Hack didn’t hack and other inappropriate baseball names

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Slow news day if you’re not interested in soccer, so let’s play a game. Or continue one anyway. It started out on Twitter like this:

 

So Hack didn’t hack? My response:

Which led to a whole motherlode of responses, some fact-based, some not:

They’ve gotten increasingly absurd and, in some cases, dirty. I’ve been retweeting these all day because I love puns and groan-worthy jokes and generalized pointless nonsense.

Let’s make up more in the comments so as to get us through this boring old day when soccer is dominating the news.