And That Happened: Monday’s scores and highlights

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Yankees 7, Mariners 2: Felix Hernandez needed only six pitches to get through the first inning. He needed only nine pitches to get through the second. In the third he set the Yankees down in order once again, again on six pitches. Then this started happening:

That’s why they play the game. Hernandez’s line on the night: four and two-thirds innings pitched, six hits, seven runs, five walks and the loss. Mark Teixeira hit a grand slam off of him. The lessons: (1) watch the whole game; and (2) don’t read what people say on Twitter. Basically, ever. It’s an awful, awful website which will suck your entire life away.

Braves 8, Diamondbacks 1: Speaking of homers coming in bunches, get a load of Freddie Freeman, who has hit three in the past four games. He had three hits in all, as did Andrelton Simmons, who has a ten-game hitting streak. Chip Hale, after the game, explaining his team’s poor performance:

“We played tonight, unfortunately, like a team that played 17 innings yesterday and lost and traveled home, which is my fault, the coaches’ fault. We didn’t have them ready to play. I will take the blame on that. It is embarrassing to me. It is not the way a team that I would ever want to coach would play a game. It’s just sloppy, dead baseball and I apologize for that.”

He then disembowled himself with his family’s sword, handed it to bench coach Glen Sherlock who served as his kaishaku and completed the seppuku. Importantly, he did it all the right way.

Dodgers 11, Rockies 4: L.A. smacked four home runs. One by Howie Kendrick, who drove in four. It actually could’ve been a bigger beating here as the Dodgers had 18 hits and drew five walks. Heck, Adrian Gonzalez reached base five times last night and the only time he scored was on his solo homer. Clayton Kershaw even went 3-for-4 with run driven in. The only damage to Kershaw came on a Nolan Arenado two-run homer. He’s homered in three straight.

Angels 7, Rays 3: Both L.A. teams hit four home runs. Unless you’re one of those tiresome folks who insist that the Angels — formerly known as the California and Anaheim Angels and currently residing in Anaheim — aren’t really an L.A. team. But, as current events helpfully remind us, when someone changes their name, they should be accorded the same respect received by anyone who has changed their name. They want to be the Los Angeles Angeles? They’re the Los Angeles Angels. If you insist on calling them what you think their name really is or should be, you’re being a jerk.

Brewers 1, Cardinals 0: Carlos Gonzalez’s first inning RBI was all that happened on the offensive side of the game. Beyond that it may as well have been the high-mound, no-offense 1960s. Well, except for the part where it took eight pitchers to put up all of those goose eggs. I wouldn’t bet my children’s lives on this, but I would bet an awful lot on there never once being a nine inning, rain-free 1-0 game which required eight pitchers to finish between the years of, say, 1900 and 1990.

Astros 5, Orioles 2: Down one heading into the seventh, Houston scored four that frame, getting to a tiring Ubaldo Jimenez and an ineffective Brad Brach. This was the Orioles’ first game outside of the Eastern Time Zone all season which is kind of crazy. Bring back the balanced schedule.

Cubs 5, Marlins 1: Jason Hammel has pitched 67 innings this year. He has 69 strikeouts and only 7 walks. Nice. Here he struck out 11 and allowed only one run in six and two-thirds, walking no one, naturally. He had a little extra mojo here due to not having pitched in eight days, but it’s not like he’s needed it lately.

Mets 7, Padres 0: Jacob deGrom didn’t break a sweat, tossing eight shutout innings while allowing only two hits. The kid may be good. How good?

OK, you can read Twitter sometimes. There is some decent information on there. Andrew Cashner struck out 12, didn’t walk anybody and still didn’t make it through five innings. Which, well, OK! By the way, the Mets are in a virtual tie for first place with the Nats again.

Pirates 4, Giants 3: Neil Walker hit a tiebreaking two-run double in the fifth and Gerrit Cole struck out nine and allowed only two unearned runs. He’s 8-2 with a 1.90 ERA. I know wins are lame, but Cole is on a pace for 25 of them which really doesn’t happen much anymore.

Blue Jays vs. Nationals; Twins vs. Red Sox: POSTPONED: The breaker’s roar

On an unseen shore,
In the teeth of a hurricane,
Oh, we struggle in vain
A hellish night,
A ghostly light,
Appears through the driving rain,
Salvation in a human chain

And That Happened: Thursday’s Scores and Highlights

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Here are the scores. Here are the highlights:

Mets 6, Nationals 4: Carlos Gómez hit the big blast here, socking an eighth inning, go-ahead three-run homer. This after the Nats themselves had come behind following Dave Martinez getting ejected. Maybe there’s something to the whole idea of the Nats playing better without Martinez, but it’s trumped by the unreliability of the Washington bullpen, who would probably even make Casey Stengel look bad. So it would seem, at the moment anyway, the conditions for testing that idea are scientifically are not optimal. Washington should probably fix both of those things, though. Maybe they’ll have something if the season is not already lost by now.

Now let’s watch Carlos Gomez (a) lose his shoe running first to third; and (b) be all Carlos Gomez-y on that home run trot:

Pirates 14, Rockies 6: Pittsburgh was leading 8-0 when the Rockies put up a six-run sixth to make things interesting, but a big seventh featuring homers from Josh BellBryan Reynolds and Starling Marte put things back out of reach. Josh Bell on the season: .339/.408/.718 and he’s on pace for 55 homers and 162 RBI. Holy Moly.

Yankees 6, Orioles 5: New York took a 5-1 lead into the eighth and it looked like another cakewalk, but the O’s at least made it interesting with a four-run eighth to tie things up. Brandon Hyde sent reliever Mychal Givens out for the top of the ninth and . . . it didn’t go well. Well, it went well at first, as Givens struck out the first two batters he faced. Then:

If I’m an Orioles fan I suppose I’m happy that game-losing rally didn’t come via even more dinger — at least in the ninth; Clint Frazier and Luke Voit homered earlier — but I suppose that’s cold comfort. Hell, at this point of the season if I’m an Orioles fan I probably want dingers because the infamy of shattering the all-time single season home runs allowed record is gonna be a season highlight. Of sorts.

Red Sox 8, Blue Jays 2: Close for the first two thirds of the game but, unfortunately for the Jays, we usually play three-thirds in this game. Boston scored two in the sixth, one each in the seventh and eighth and then opened up with a three-run ninth to make this one not-so-close. Sox starter Ryan Weber allowed one run over six to give a breather to a bullpen which pitched in a thirteen inning game the night before and Steve Pearce homered and had three RBI. The highlight of the game, though, came from a Jays player. Watch Vlad Jr. through out Rafael Devers from his butt:

Marlins 5, Tigers 2: Make it six straight wins for the Marlins. This one was particularly fun for the Fish and particularly gutting for the Tigers, as Detroit took a 2-0 lead into the ninth only to see reliever Shane Greene cough up all five of the runs Miami would score on the day. First an RBI single to Neil Walker to made it 2-1. A few batters later Ron Gardenhire intentionally walked Curtis Granderson to load the bases, setting up Garrett Cooper for his two-out grand slam. Cooper hit his first big league dinger on Wednesday, so I guess he’s getting the hang of this game. That’s nine straight losses for Detroit. Could’ve been ten as they were trailing in a game against Oakland last weekend that got suspended. Of course it probably feels like 25.

Phillies 9, Cubs 7: Jean Segura and J.T. Realmuto homered and Andrew McCutchen had two hits and two RBI as a fairly wild series ends up in a split. Anthony Rizzo and Kyle Schwarber homered for Chicago but Jon Lester was kinda shaky. Philly has won five of seven.

Braves 5, Giants 4: Austin Riley hit a game-tying home run in the eighth and then drove in the go-ahead run in the 13th with an RBI single. The kid just got called up nine days ago but he’s already got five homers in those nine games while hitting .389/.421/.833. Someone tell him this game at that easy. Riley and Ozzie Albies each had three hits and Tyler Flowers homered too. The Braves have won 10 of 13 and have pulled to within a game and a half of Philly.

Twins 16, Angels 7: The Angels probably would’ve preferred another rainout. No dice, though, and as it was they gave up eight — 8! VIII! — homers to the Twins. Four of those were surrendered by Matt Harvey, who couldn’t get out of the third inning and whose ERA ballooned to 7.50 on the season. So, um, yeah, that whole experiment has not worked out too well. As for the dingers: Miguel Sanó and Jonathan Schoop went deep twice while C.J. Cron, Max KeplerJorge Polanco and Eddie Rosario had a homer a piece. It was the second time this year Minnesota hit eight homers in a game. The Twins are on pace for 324 homers. The all-time record was set by the Yankees last year with 267. Minnesota is likewise only the second team to hit eight homers in a game twice in a season. The last was the 2005 Rangers. Which, yeah, every game these days sort of feels like old Rangers games. Not that that’s really a compliment, aesthetically speaking. Indeed, longtime readers will know that I tend to default to “1990s-2000s Rangers” as a shorthand for rather boring, offense-heavy baseball. Not that Twins fans should mind, of course.

Rays 7, Indians 2: The “highlight” of this one was a Kevin Kiermaeir inside-the-park homer which was, in reality, a real drag of a play given that it only happened because Tribe outfielders Oscar Mercado and Leonys Martín slammed into each other and got hurt:

Each of the outfielders would stay in the game, thankfully. Both for their own sake and because the Indians are probably one injury or cold streak away from activating Cory Snyder or Albert Belle or someone to play outfield. The Rays got more conventional homers from Tommy Pham, Avisail García and Willy Adames.

White Sox 4, Astros 0: Lucas Giolio went the distance, spinning a four-hit shutout while striking out nine to help the Chisox earn a series split. That’s two straight complete games for Giolito. The last one was a rain-shortened four and a half inning number, but CGs are rare these days. He should own it.