Will Smith’s ejection once again shows baseball’s silly approach to foreign substance rules

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Last night Will Smith was ejected from the Brewers-Braves game because he had a big bunch of goo on his arm. Hey, big bunches of goo on your arm is illegal if you’re a pitcher, so do the crime, do the time. He may get a ten-game suspension out of this. He may not. We’ll see in the next day or so.

But before anyone tut-tuts the evil, cheating Will Smith here, let us remind ourselves that just about every pitcher uses something to mess with baseballs and/or enhance their grip, and for the most part baseball is content to look the other way about it.

We went through this last year when Yankees pitcher Michael Pineda was caught with pine tar on his neck and hand in multiple starts and two years ago when Red Sox pitcher Clay Buchholz was accused of using sunscreen to doctor baseballs. Or to get a better grip. Or a less-good grip which some argued was better (too much friction is bad!). It’s hard to keep track of these justifications, actually. The one thing we do know for sure, though, is that a huge number of pitchers do this and, generally speaking, no one cares. Hitters have said they don’t mind if it means the pitcher has better control over the ball. The people who pointed out the use of foreign substances in these instances actually got more crap thrown their way than the actual foreign substance users.

But it’s not totally kosher, right? If it was, would Michael Pineda have gotten suspended? If it was, would Fredi Gonzalez have gone out to the umps last night and told them about Smith’s goo? Hardly. Heck, right before the ejection Smith hit a Braves batter with a pitch. Perhaps Smith, therefore, wasn’t really interested in getting a better grip with whatever that goo was? Perhaps Gonzalez was merely suggesting to the umps that they tell Smith to put more goo on his arm and the message was just garbled? English is such an imperfect language for communicating nuance!

That’s the key word here, of course. “Nuance.” Ultimately these situations come down to someone arguing about how it’s totally cool for the pitcher to doctor up the ball, but maybe they shouldn’t be so obvious about it. It’s a standard that, for whatever reason, never ever flies with any other kind of rules violations in baseball. Imagine if it did. “Hey, he may have been taking HGH, but he was doing it to recover from an injury faster, not to get an unfair advantage! Everyone does it, he just took a substance that was too easily-detected. He just shouldn’t have been so obvious about it!” I can tell you from experience, that kind of nuance DOES NOT get you a lot of converts to your cause.

Generally I’m not a fan of  “rules are rules” arguments. I think you have to enforce rules when you have them so, for that reason, I have no problem with Will Smith being ejected for his goo and Joe Shlabotnik being suspended 80 games for whatever PEDs are found in his system, even if he says he took them so he can recover from injury more quickly. But it you have rules which everyone ignores for what everyone argues are good reasons, perhaps you need to examine those rules and reassess whether they reflect reality rather than to only enforce them when someone really obviously breaks them. Because if you do the latter, you’re not policing behavior, you’re playing P.R. games.

Alternatively, maybe we should just acknowledge that a lot of people lie about why they break a rule, acknowledge that non-enforcement tends to boil down to an “our guys do it too, so shut up about it” rationale and stamp out this “hey, everyone does it” talk before people start believing it. I’m good either way.

Gaylord Perry, two-time Cy Young winner, dies at 84

Gregory Fisher-USA TODAY Sports
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GAFFNEY, S.C. — Baseball Hall of Famer and two-time Cy Young Award winner Gaylord Perry, a master of the spitball and telling stories about the pitch, died at 84.

Perry died at his home in Gaffney, Cherokee County Coroner Dennis Fowler said. He did not provide additional details. A statement from the Perry family said he “passed away peacefully at his home after a short illness.”

The native of Williamston, North Carolina, made history as the first player to win the Cy Young in both leagues, with Cleveland in 1972 after a 24-16 season and with San Diego in 1978 – going 21-6 for his fifth and final 20-win season just after turning 40.

“Before I won my second Cy Young, I thought I was too old – I didn’t think the writers would vote for me,” Perry said in an article on the National Baseball Hall of Fame website. “But they voted on my performance, so I won it.”

“Gaylord Perry was a consistent workhorse and a memorable figure in his Hall of Fame career,” MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred said in a statement, adding, “he will be remembered among the most accomplished San Francisco Giants ever … and remained a popular teammate and friend throughout his life.”

Perry was drafted by the San Francisco Giants and spent 10 seasons among legendary teammates like Hall of Famer Willie Mays, who said Thursday that Perry “was a good man, a good ballplayer and my good friend. So long old Pal.”

Juan Marichal remembered Perry as “smart, funny, and kind to everyone in the clubhouse. When he talked, you listened.”

“During our 10 seasons together in the San Francisco Giants rotation, we combined to record 369 complete games, more than any pair of teammates in the Major Leagues,” Marichal said. “I will always remember Gaylord for his love and devotion to the game of baseball, his family, and his farm.”

Perry, who pitched for eight major-league teams from 1962 until 1983, was a five-time All-Star who was elected to the Hall of Fame in 1991. He had a career record of 314-255, finished with 3,554 strikeouts and used a pitching style where he doctored baseballs or made batters believe he was doctoring them.

The National Baseball Hall of Fame said in a statement that Perry was “one of the greatest pitchers of his generation.” The Texas Rangers, whom Perry played for twice, said in a statement that the pitcher was “a fierce competitor every time he took the ball and more often than not gave the Rangers an opportunity to win the game.”

“The Rangers express their sincere condolences to Gaylord’s family at this difficult time,” the team’s statement said. “This baseball great will be missed.”

Perry’s 1974 autobiography was titled “Me and the Spitter,” and he wrote it in that when he started in 1962 he was the “11th man on an 11-man pitching staff” for the Giants. He needed an edge and learned the spitball from San Francisco teammate Bob Shaw.

Perry said he first threw it in May 1964 against the New York Mets, pitched 10 innings without giving up a run and soon after entered the Giants’ starting rotation.

He also wrote in the book that he chewed slippery elm bark to build up his saliva, and eventually stopped throwing the pitch in 1968 after MLB ruled pitchers could no longer touch their fingers to their mouths before touching the baseball.

According to his book, he looked for other substances, like petroleum jelly, to doctor the baseball. He used various motions and routines to touch different parts of his jersey and body to get hitters thinking he was applying a foreign substance.

Giants teammate Orlando Cepeda said Perry had “a great sense of humor … a great personality and was my baseball brother.”

“In all my years in baseball, I never saw a right-handed hurler have such a presence on the field and in the clubhouse,” Cepeda added.

Seattle Mariners Chairman John Stanton said in a release that he spoke with Perry during his last visit to Seattle, saying Perry was, “delightful and still passionate in his opinions on the game, and especially on pitching.

Perry was ejected from a game just once for doctoring a baseball – when he was with Seattle in August 1982. In his final season with Kansas City, Perry and teammate Leon Roberts tried to hide George Brett’s infamous pine-tar bat in the clubhouse but was stopped by a guard. Perry was ejected for his role in that game, too.

After his career, Perry founded the baseball program at Limestone College in Gaffney and was its coach for the first three years.

Perry is survived by wife Deborah, and three of his four children in Allison, Amy and Beth. Perry’s son Jack had previously died.

Deborah Perry said in a statement to The AP that Gaylord Perry was “an esteemed public figure who inspired millions of fans and was a devoted husband, father, friend and mentor who changed the lives of countless people with his grace, patience and spirit.”

The Hall of Fame’s statement noted that Perry often returned for induction weekend “to be with his friends and fans.”

“We extend our deepest sympathy to his wife, Deborah, and the entire Perry family,” Baseball Hall of Fame chairman Jane Forbes Clark said.