Video: Alfredo Simon throws Torii Hunter two eephus pitches. Maybe.

37 Comments

I don’t know if this is technically an eephus pitch. Someone will likely chime in and say that, actually, an eephus pitch is not just some slow junk pitch designed to throw the hitter off guard but really has to arc way up high like 30 feet and come back down to truly be called that.

Maybe that’s the case, but it’s also the case that “literally” doesn’t mean “figuratively” and “non-plussed” is supposed to mean “surprised and confused,” not “unimpressed,” but usage by people who don’t know what they’re talking about has quite literally changed their definition according to the folks who write dictionaries.

As person who thinks words actually mean things, these developments have me non-plussed. Almost as non-plussed as Torii Hunter looked after getting the first of two eephus pitches from Alfredo Simon last night:

 

Ultimately, I have learned to give in to the mob with these sorts of things. I doubt I’ll ever intentionally and seriously use “literally” to mean “figuratively,” but I may slip on “non-plussed” at some point. And I’m willing to call any non-knuckleball that doesn’t exceed 65 miles per hour an eephus pitch. Life is too short to fight over crap like that.

White Sox sign José Abreu to a three-year contract extension

1 Comment

Yesterday the Chicago White Sox made a big signing of a new player, locking up catcher Yasmani Grandal for four years. Today they’ve made another big splash, re-signed current White Sox star José Abreu to a three-year, $50 million contract extension.

Abreu had already accepted the team’s qualifying offer last week so he was ensured of staying in Chicago for 2020, but now they’ll tear that up and replace it with this pact, adding two more years.

Abreu, who turns 33 before spring training, is coming off a 2019 season in which he posted a line of .284/.330/.503 with 33 home runs and 123 RBI. He has spent his entire major league career in Chicago, putting up a line of .293/.349/.513 and socking 179 homers in six seasons.