I don’t know if this is technically an eephus pitch. Someone will likely chime in and say that, actually, an eephus pitch is not just some slow junk pitch designed to throw the hitter off guard but really has to arc way up high like 30 feet and come back down to truly be called that.
Maybe that’s the case, but it’s also the case that “literally” doesn’t mean “figuratively” and “non-plussed” is supposed to mean “surprised and confused,” not “unimpressed,” but usage by people who don’t know what they’re talking about has quite literally changed their definition according to the folks who write dictionaries.
As person who thinks words actually mean things, these developments have me non-plussed. Almost as non-plussed as Torii Hunter looked after getting the first of two eephus pitches from Alfredo Simon last night:
Ultimately, I have learned to give in to the mob with these sorts of things. I doubt I’ll ever intentionally and seriously use “literally” to mean “figuratively,” but I may slip on “non-plussed” at some point. And I’m willing to call any non-knuckleball that doesn’t exceed 65 miles per hour an eephus pitch. Life is too short to fight over crap like that.