Your tax returns are nowhere near as complicated as pro athletes’ tax returns

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First off, save me the complaining about taxes in general thing. Yeah, we all hate to pay them. And yeah we all hate to file our returns. But that’s the price we pay for a civilized society with roads, safer workplaces, food that doesn’t have “arsenic” as its second-listed ingredient, a cleaner environment than capitalists would’ve given us otherwise and a military that keeps the Huns, Vandals and various other hordes from crushing us, driving us before them and hearing the lamentations of our women. Suck it up and do your civic duty.

Second off, save me the “but athletes make millions, so who cares about them?!” stuff. I’m not saying that it’s harder for them to pay their bill. It’s obviously much easier. But their tax returns are a gigantic mess thanks to the fact that they play half their games in other cities and/or states and that local politicians have figured out that it’s easy to fleece visiting pro athletes.

To get a glimpse into how complicated it is, go read this story from a few days ago in the New Yorker about what goes into a pro athlete’s tax return. And be thankful that you don’t have to calculate what percentage of your hyperbaric chamber is for business purposes and what percentage of it is for personal use.

And for Christ’s sake, where did I put that receipt for my hyperbaric chamber?