A Roger Clemens biopic? No thanks.

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Our friend Stephen Silver over at Technology Tell passes along something that he missed and I missed until he stopped missing it: someone is making a Roger Clemens biopic. Specifically, the same folks who made “The Imitation Game.” ¬†Click through for the information, stay for the jokes Stephen makes at Roger Clemens’ expense.

Question: has there been a good biopic made, like, ever? And I don’t mean one based loosely on a real person or one which takes a lot of artistic liberties and stuff. Those can be fun. I’m talking about one that purports to actually do some history. All of them bore me to tears. You can appreciate them. And often there are some good acting performances. But they just don’t work as movies because movies need to be stories on some level and lives generally aren’t stories. We pretend they are stories. We shoehorn them into stories. But there’s a lack of dramatic closure in all lives — even after the subject dies — which keeps almost all biopics from being anything other than less-than-thorough documentaries. Give me a good documentary over a biopic any day.

That said, maybe we wait a while on the Clemens documentary too? Or, better yet, create a fully-rounded fictionalized film on a superstar ballplayer. Just as “Bull Durham” was way better than “The Steve Dalkowski Story” might have been, “[Fictional Roger Clemens treatment]” would be way better than “The Roger Clemens story” could possibly be.