A Roger Clemens biopic? No thanks.

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Our friend Stephen Silver over at Technology Tell passes along something that he missed and I missed until he stopped missing it: someone is making a Roger Clemens biopic. Specifically, the same folks who made “The Imitation Game.”  Click through for the information, stay for the jokes Stephen makes at Roger Clemens’ expense.

Question: has there been a good biopic made, like, ever? And I don’t mean one based loosely on a real person or one which takes a lot of artistic liberties and stuff. Those can be fun. I’m talking about one that purports to actually do some history. All of them bore me to tears. You can appreciate them. And often there are some good acting performances. But they just don’t work as movies because movies need to be stories on some level and lives generally aren’t stories. We pretend they are stories. We shoehorn them into stories. But there’s a lack of dramatic closure in all lives — even after the subject dies — which keeps almost all biopics from being anything other than less-than-thorough documentaries. Give me a good documentary over a biopic any day.

That said, maybe we wait a while on the Clemens documentary too? Or, better yet, create a fully-rounded fictionalized film on a superstar ballplayer. Just as “Bull Durham” was way better than “The Steve Dalkowski Story” might have been, “[Fictional Roger Clemens treatment]” would be way better than “The Roger Clemens story” could possibly be.

MLB, union resume blood testing after pandemic, lockout

Scott Taetsch-USA TODAY Sports
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NEW YORK – In the first acknowledgment that MLB and the players’ association resumed blood testing for human growth hormone, the organizations said none of the 1,027 samples taken during the 2022 season tested positive.

HGH testing stopped in 2021 because of the COVID-19 pandemic. Testing also was halted during the 99-day lockout that ended in mid-March, and there were supply chain issues due to COVID-19 and additional caution in testing due to coronavirus protocols.

The annual public report is issued by Thomas M. Martin, independent program administrator of MLB’s joint drug prevention and treatment program. In an announcement accompanying Thursday’s report, MLB and the union said test processing is moving form the INRS Laboratory in Quebec, Canada, to the UCLA Laboratory in California.

MLB tests for HGH using dried blood spot testing, which was a change that was agreed to during bargaining last winter. There were far fewer samples taken in 2022 compared to 2019, when there were 2,287 samples were collected – none positive.

Beyond HGH testing, 9,011 urine samples were collected in the year ending with the 2022 World Series, up from 8,436 in the previous year but down from 9,332 in 2019. And therapeutic use exemptions for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder dropped for the ninth straight year, with just 72 exemptions in 2022.

Overall, the league issued six suspensions in 2022 for performance-enhancing substances: three for Boldenone (outfielder/first baseman Danny Santana, pitcher Richard Rodriguez and infielder Jose Rondon, all free agents, for 80 games apiece); one each for Clomiphene (Milwaukee catcher Pedro Severino for 80 games), Clostebol (San Diego shortstop Fernando Tatis Jr. for 80 games) and Stanozolol (Milwaukee pitcher J.C. Mejia for 80 games).

There was an additional positive test for the banned stimulant Clobenzorex. A first positive test for a banned stimulant results in follow-up testing with no suspension.