This raises more questions than it does answers:
Marlins pitcher Mat Latos, on MLB’s new pace-of-play rules: “Terrible. You rush a hamburger, it’s not going to be completely done.” Huh?
— Brian Costa (@BrianCostaWSJ) February 20, 2015
As everyone knows, the proper way to cook a burger is over super high and direct heat and to cook that sucker as fast as possible. You want to rush that burger, Mat! And my God, you do not want it “completely done.” I don’t care if you win 25 games this year: if I show up at your house for a cookout and you give me a well-done burger, I’m gonna withhold my Cy Young vote for you on general principle.
Oh, who am I kidding. I don’t have a Cy Young vote. 🙁