Yep, it’s January. We’re talking about “selfie rules” at baseball games

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Fox’s Jon Paul Morosi was watching a soccer game last night when a player took a selfie after scoring a goal and it went mildly viral. This probably amused some people. It probably annoyed some other people. Morosi was inspired:

As I watched the scene at Stadio Olimpico from a continent away, my thoughts wandered back to the sport I cover: Baseball should do something like this.

After which he makes a case for how baseball should and could implement a designated selfie camera and that there would be rules about it and everything.

I assume — and sincerely hope — that the impulse here was tongue and cheek and an excuse to write a few amusing words about something with a vague baseball connection during a particularly dead time in baseball’s offseason. God knows I do that all the time. But the form of the argument seems disturbingly earnest, as if it’s a proposal Morosi actually supports. Or, at the very least, cares about enough to take a position on one way or another. It’s hard to tell with Morosi sometimes. He means well. I truly believe that. But he has some uncanny valley element to him sometimes that makes it hard to tell what note he’s actually trying to strike.

But I do know this much: if baseball did institutionalize selfies like Morosi suggests, we’d begin a tedious conversation about the proper time to take selfies, the unwritten rules of selfies and, eventually, some pitcher is gonna hit a guy because he felt his selfie disrespected the game or some nonsense. Then someone would talk about how Bob Gibson would plant a pitch in the ear of someone who took a selfie back in 1968 and we’d be forced to take that person seriously for a few minutes.

Oh well. If you need me I’ll be in my time machine, traveling back to 1974 to write a column about how baseball teams should designate a special part of their grandstand for fans who wish to streak.