Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles: Adam Dunn pitched last night.

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If, before last night, I had found a genie in a bottle who granted me three wishes, I would have at least considered using one of them to see Adam Dunn pitch. I mean, once you’re rich and have ensured long and healthy lives for yourself and your family, what better is there to do with the third one? World peace? Eh, let the next guy wish for that one. I wanna see the Big Donkey take the hill.

Well, I got my wish last night:

Not gonna lie: I’ve seen big bulky relievers with worse-looking mechanics than Dunner here. He was a college quarterback, after all, and football-throwing skills do transfer. Maybe not 100% cleanly after 15 years and a lot of beers and T-bone steaks like Dunn has likely seen come and go, but muscle memory can be pretty useful.

The line, alas, was not so great: one inning pitched, two hits, a walk and an earned run. But (a) he was more effective than the White Sox pitchers who gave the Rangers a 15-0 lead before he came in; and (b) he looked mighty damn fine doing it.

Royals sign Drew Storen to minor league deal

Drew Storen
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The Royals are in agreement with right-handed reliever Drew Storen on a minor league deal, the team announced Friday. Per Jon Heyman of MLB Network, the deal is worth $1.25 million if the veteran righty breaks camp with the club this spring. Additional, albeit unspecified incentives will be included in the contract as well.

Storen, 31, is coming off of a protracted absence from any MLB duties. After inking a one-year deal with the Reds in 2017, he sustained a right elbow sprain toward the end of the year and underwent Tommy John surgery that October. He was effectively decommissioned for the club’s entire 2018 run and generated little interest around the league this winter, perhaps due in part to the uninspired 4.45 ERA, 3.8 BB/9, 7.9 SO/9, and career-low -0.2 fWAR he posted across 54 2/3 innings during his last healthy season.

While it’s not immediately clear what kind of performance the Royals can expect from Storen in spring training, they’re not exactly in a position to be choosy. Their bullpen ranked dead last among all MLB teams with a collective 5.04 ERA, 4.85 FIP, and -2.2 fWAR last year, and still appears to be in a state of flux as they approach Opening Day. Skipper Ned Yost told reporters Wednesday that he intends to eschew the traditional closer appointment in 2019 and will instead utilize a combination of right-handers Wily Peralta and Brad Boxberger, lefty Tim Hill, and various others as he tackles high-leverage situations in the future.