This year’s All-Star Game musical guests announced

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Remember when Major League Baseball had Bread sing “Make it with you” before the 1972 All-Star Game and Bob Gibson killed David Gates with his bare hands? Man, that was epic.

We live in a more genteel time now, however, and today’s baseball players don’t much mind it when the All-Star pregame is turned into a vehicle for promoting pop stars and things. Thus, last year, Pitbull performed before the game. This year, there are other acts at the various All-Star events:

Tony Award-winner Idina Menzel will sing the U.S. National Anthem . . . prior to the National Anthem, Menzel will perform the classic song “Forever Young” by 11-time Grammy-Award winner Bob Dylan, who is a Minnesota native . . .

First of all, she should do “Brownsville Girl” if she does any Dylan song because that’s a sweet, overlooked jam.

Second: while “Forever Young” is going to be part of a ceremony honoring “30 “All-Star Teachers” who have made an impact on their community, the part of me that hates you all and wants to see the world burn wants them to turn the song into a Jeter serenade. Picture him on a chair in front of home plate, all of the other All-Stars surrounding him with adoring looks on their faces as “may yoooou staaaayyy . . . . foreeeeeh-eh-ver youuuunnnggg” echoes through the ballpark.

Third: I bet you all just threw up.

Anyway, what else ya got, MLB?

The MLB All-Star Musical Performance presented by Budweiser will feature singer/songwriter Aloe Blacc on-field prior to the Gillette Home Run Derby on July 14th on ESPN.

Happy birthday to me, I guess.

the Canadian Anthem will be performed by the Minnesota Orchestra Brass Quintet and God Bless America will be sung by American country music artist Joe Nichols.

If Justin Morneau wins The Final Vote, however, he’ll be doing it with Russell Martin accompanying him on traditional Canadian musical instruments which, I presume, exist.

Also joining the roster of musical performances during MLB All-Star Week is Panic! At the Disco, who will perform on-field prior to the Taco Bell™ All-Star Legends & Celebrity Softball Game at Target Field on July 13th

Maybe not the top gig of the weekend, but Panic! At the Disco may be the biggest stars at the “celebrity” softball game.

The ticketed All-Star Pre-Game Celebration taking place outside of Target Field prior to the All-Star Game on Tuesday will feature American rock band O.A.R. and Minnesota’s A Capella group, Home Free.

I’ll be inside by then, trying to get that whole Jeter ceremony idea off the ground.

Grammy Award winning artists Imagine Dragons will headline the 2014 Target All-Star Concert presented by Budweiser with musical guest, Minnesota-based Atmosphere, on Saturday, July 12th, as part of MLB All-Star Week

Fine I guess. My kids like the “Radioactive” song. All of this needs more Baseball Project, however. If you want that, go to Durham:

Bryce Harper is pandering hard to Philly fans

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Bryce Harper hadn’t even addressed his new hometown fans before his Phillies jersey started selling like hotcakes. Since then, he’s said all the expected things. Talking about joining the Phillies, he said, “From day one, it felt right … I always talk about family and being a family, being one unit, and I get that from this team. Every guy has your back and vice versa. I’m very excited to go into battle with these guys.”

Harper is continuing to pander hard to Phillies fans. Behold his latest Instagram post:

Has anyone ever really longed to see the Liberty Bell?

Harper also famously recreated that Chase Utley scene from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia with actor Rob McElhenney on Twitter:

In Harper’s next post, he will talk about alternating bottles of You-eng-ling beers with glasses of “wooder.” He’ll add that every so often he will treat himself to a steak sandwich with cheese on it, then go home to watch all of the movies in the Rocky series.