Great Moments in “If the Boss were alive”

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Andrew Sullivan often mentions the fact that when he was a reporter at the New Republic his editor, Michael Kinsley, would say that he wished he had a single key on his computer that he could press before even reading an article that would delete all semicolons and replace them with a period and automatically capitalize the next word. Why? Because, Kinsley thought, semicolons were useless crutches which enabled bloated, aimless prose and served to prevent the writer from actually saying something useful, clear and succinct.

If I ever seriously mess up in life and find myself editing some Yankees columnist, I’d want a key that automatically deletes any variation of “If George Steinbrenner were alive” and replace it with the words “[columnist] is ill today. He will return next week.”

The latest abuser of this shopworn cliche of Yankees analysis: Bill Madden:

If George Steinbrenner were alive, you know there would be some kind of shakeup. Heads would roll somewhere. Changes — if nothing else for the sake of changes — would be in the offing.

That’s the difference between a regular columnist and a Spink Award-winning columnist like Madden. The Spink Award guy has the guts and job security to add the “heads would roll” cliche to the “if the Boss were still alive” cliche. He throws it all out there.

In other news, Steinbrenner is still dead. And even when he was alive, he had spent the last 15 years or so running a Yankees team with managerial and executive stability nearly unrivaled in all of baseball. Why? Because he changed and matured and realized that he couldn’t do things like he did back in 1982 and be successful anymore.

If only New York columnists could do that.

Orioles CEO, brother agree to dismiss legal dispute

Tommy Gilligan-USA TODAY Sports
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Baltimore Orioles CEO John Angelos and his brother Lou have agreed to end their fight over a lawsuit in which Lou accused John of seizing control of the team in defiance of their father Peter’s wishes.

Lou Angelos sued John last year, claiming John took control of the Orioles at his expense. Georgia Angelos, their mother, also was named as a defendant.

In a Friday court filing in the case, John, Lou, Georgia and Peter Angelos called on “all claims, including all counterclaims and defenses, asserted therein be dismissed with prejudice in their entirety.”

“The Parties also withdraw and terminate all pending motions submitted in these actions,” the filing said.

Peter Angelos became the Orioles’ owner in 1993, but his public role has diminished in recent years and he turned 93 last year. According to the suit, he had surgery after his aortic valve failed in 2017.

Lou Angelos accused John of trying to take control of Peter Angelos’ assets and manipulating Georgia Angelos. The lawsuit was one of a handful of off-field issues looming over the Orioles this offseason. The team also has a lease at Camden Yards that expires at the end of the year.