Who could’ve predicted Tim Lincecum’s no-hitter? Maybe an astrologer

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Wendy Thurm — who was at the Giants-Padres game as a fan yesterday and then ended up filing some stories about Tim Lincecum’s no-hitter last night — tweeted out this overnight. It’s from Leah Garchik at SFgate.com:

The spring-summer 2014 edition of “The Ultimate Sports Guide” includes astrologer Andrea Mallis’ analysis of Tim Lincecum, born June 15, 1984: “This season heralds Tim’s Saturn Return, an auspicious planetary cycle of new beginnings occurring around age 29 or 30.” Lincecum “is aligning with the forces of the universe, as the Saturn Return guides him to prioritize objectives. … We move forward as the planets do, as transformation morphs into Lincecum 2.0, getting back on track as the stars align. A repurposed Gemini Twins blend of inner peace and outward persistence makes this a Saturn Return season to remember.”

I don’t feel like Lincecum has ever lacked “inner peace,” but what do I know? I’s nice to see that he’s returning to Saturn, however.

[Shakes head, puts on his John McClane from “Die Hard” voice]: California.