Who could’ve predicted Tim Lincecum’s no-hitter? Maybe an astrologer

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Wendy Thurm — who was at the Giants-Padres game as a fan yesterday and then ended up filing some stories about Tim Lincecum’s no-hitter last night — tweeted out this overnight. It’s from Leah Garchik at SFgate.com:

The spring-summer 2014 edition of “The Ultimate Sports Guide” includes astrologer Andrea Mallis’ analysis of Tim Lincecum, born June 15, 1984: “This season heralds Tim’s Saturn Return, an auspicious planetary cycle of new beginnings occurring around age 29 or 30.” Lincecum “is aligning with the forces of the universe, as the Saturn Return guides him to prioritize objectives. … We move forward as the planets do, as transformation morphs into Lincecum 2.0, getting back on track as the stars align. A repurposed Gemini Twins blend of inner peace and outward persistence makes this a Saturn Return season to remember.”

I don’t feel like Lincecum has ever lacked “inner peace,” but what do I know? I’s nice to see that he’s returning to Saturn, however.

[Shakes head, puts on his John McClane from “Die Hard” voice]: California.

Jean Segura hits a three-run homer to put the AL up 5-2 in the eighth

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As we moved to the top of the eighth inning things started to loosen up. Which was good for the American League but not for the Senior Circuit.

Josh Hader of the Brewers was pitching and, in very un-2018-style, the American League strung together a couple of hits, with Shin-Soo Choo and George Springer singling. At that point Jen Segura of the Mariners came to the plate while Joe Buck spoke to National League outfielder Charlie Blackmon on the mic. Blackmon was entertaining until Joey Votto failed to corral a would-be foul out from Segura, at which point he tensed up a bit. Then Segura launched a massive three-run homer to left. Blackmon called Buck “bad luck,” Mitch Moreland singled and Blackmon said that if the next pitch wasn’t a double play ball, he was bailing on the broadcast.

With the Americans leading 5-2, Dave Roberts made a pitching change, bringing in Brad Hand with one out in the inning. Buck bid adieu to Blackmon, for which Blackmon seemed thankful. These mic’d up players are fun, but there’s a limit to how much distraction they’ll endure, even in a meaningless exhibition game.

Hand struck out Michael Brantley and then