The Rays pulled out a win late last night, but overall they’re in last place and the only team with a worse record than they have in the American League is the Houston Astros. But that’s not why they stink. This is:
[David Price] slapped on some after-shave, courtesy of manager Joe Maddon, who brought in seven bottles of cologne before the game because Maddon believes in aroma therapy and his team certainly needed something to break out of the funk.
Price went with Aqua Velva Blue.
Joe Maddon promises to continue this smelly tradition:
Aroma still matters. Hope there’s a bad scent of old colognes mixing in dugout tonight. Let’s stir up some nostalgia pic.twitter.com/TgXnZkFe2S
— Joe Maddon (@RaysJoeMaddon) May 14, 2014
Need your suggestions for more old colognes. Want to make sure we have all daddies covered.
— Joe Maddon (@RaysJoeMaddon) May 14, 2014
Conflicting aroma in dugout tonight. Porterfield overdosed on Brut. I had Aqua Velva Musk. Ordered more stuff shipped to Trop.
— Joe Maddon (@RaysJoeMaddon) May 14, 2014
Maddon is clearly going the hipster route and getting “dad colognes,” but I think the ones he’s choosing are bordering on grandpa, not dad. I’m almost old enough to be a young MLBer’s dad, and stinky guys just a few years older than me were far more into the Polos, Claibornes and Drakkars of the world. I bet more Rays players identify those as old man smells than Old Spice. For the record, my dad is 70. His go-to is Canoe, and even that skews younger than Aqua Velva and stuff.
Anyway: pity the poor clubhouse attendants who have to work in these conditions.
