Brett Ratner buys the film rights to Yasiel Puig’s life story

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You all make fun of me for being in the bag for Puig, but when I’m invited to the gala premiere at Grauman’s Chinese Theater or wherever, I’ll have the last laugh:

Brett Ratner has acquired movie rights to the story of Los Angeles Dodger Yasiel Puig’s escape from Cuba. He will produce the project with Beau Flynn . . . Puig, who was the National League Rookie of the Year last season, tried to escape from his home country of Cuba several times and finally succeeded with the help of smugglers working for a Mexican drug cartel who took him to the Yucatan Peninsula. The cartel then held him captive for three weeks after his backer allegedly did not pay enough money.

Ratner is currently working on “Beverly Hills Cop 4,” so you know the man is busy and knows quality entertainment. So this ought to be awesome.

Who plays Plaschke?