And That Happened: Thursday’s scores and highlights

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Yankees 14, Red Sox 5: It started off with lots of laughs for the Red Sox, but then the Yankees leapt out to a 7-0 lead by the top of the third and never looked back. Yangervis Solarte drove in four, Jacoby Ellsbury three, and Mark Teixeira hit his first homer of the year. More importantly: on the heels of losing Ivan Nova to Tommy John surgery and Michael Pineda to a suspension, CC Sabathia put up his second strong start in a row, allowing two runs over six innings with eight strikeouts.

Athletics 10, Astros 1: Just clown shoes from the Astros. Five errors and a nine-run loss is bad as it is, but then tossing on some gratuitous unwritten rule enforcement — from an incident in a totally different game, in a totally different series — is just ridiculous. You know, my original defense of Jed Lowrie bunting with a big lead in that first game was “hey, the A’s should stop trying only when the Astros say they’ve stopped trying.” But really, I don’t think that’s applicable anymore because the Astros are acting like they’re not even playing baseball these days.

Reds 2, Pirates 1: Tony Cingrani allowed one run on six hits in six inning while striking out seven. Cincinnati has won seven of nine and have reached .500 after a slow start.

Indians 5, Royals 1: The Royals make Corey Kluber look like Sandy Koufax (CG 4, H 0 ER, 11K, 0 BB). According to the AP, Kluber is the first Indians pitcher to throw a complete game while recording 11 strikeouts, no walks or earned runs since Len Barker’s perfect game in 1981. Kinda cool.

Mets 4, Cardinals 1: Nice outing for Bartolo Colon, who gave up only one run on four hits over seven. And an odd sight:  Daisuke Matsuzaka as a closer. He saved his first game since playing in Japan back in 2000. I don’t know this experiment will work — Dice-K is pretty much the opposite of what you want from a closer — but it’s kinda fun to see. Well, to the extent you can ever describe watching Matsuzaka “fun.”

Tigers 7, White Sox 4: Miguel Cabrera had two hits and drove in three, showing that his bat is waking up after hitting the snooze bar several times since the season began. Wait, are there snooze bars anymore? I’m sorta picturing an analog clock radio here when I suspect all you kids use your iPhones and stuff as an alarm clock. My unfamiliarity with this is not a function of me being old, though. It’s a function of me not sleeping that much.

Diamondbacks 5, Cubs 2: Mike Bolsinger snagged his first major league win, allowing one unearned run on four hits in six and two-thirds. He even hit an RBI single to [all together now] help his own cause.

Twins 9, Rays 7: Minnesota takes three of four in St. Pete. Aaron Hicks hit a three-run homer, Kurt Suzuki drove in three and Sam Fuld drove in two. 

Editor’s Note: Hardball Talk‘s partner FanDuel is hosting a one-day $60,000 Fantasy Baseball league for Friday evening MLB games. It’s $25 to join and first prize is $8,000. Starts at 7:05pm ET on FridayHere’s the FanDuel link.

Padres 4, Nationals 3: A costly win for the Padres as they lost both Chase Headley and Seth Smith to injuries, but a win all the same. Xavier Nady hit an RBI single in the top of the 12th to put the Pads ahead. The Nats blew a ton of opportunities, going 0 for 16 with runners in scoring position and leaving 14 men on base.

Orioles 11, Blue Jays 4: Ten runs Wednesday night, 11 last night. I think it’s safe to say the O’s can hit the ball and/or the Jays staff has issues. Chris Davis drove in three. Nelson Cruz had two hits and drove in two. He’s had RBI in seven straight games. 

Phillies 7, Dodgers 3: Four runs in the ninth for the Phillies to turn a tie game into a laugher. Carlos Ruiz had the big hit, with a tiebreaking two-run double. Brian Wilson gave up all four of those runs on three hits and a walk. His ERA now stands at 15.75.

Bryce Harper is on paternity leave

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Several years ago, Bryce Harper made news when it was revealed that he thought the word “meme” was pronounced “may-may.” That may be my favorite Bryce Harper moment ever.

As it was announced by the Phillies a little while ago that Harper has been placed on paternity leave, I’m wondering if he pronounces the word “baby” “bébé.”

I wouldn’t think less of him if he did, actually. One of my favorite people in the world does that.

Anyway, congratulations to Bryce Harper on becoming a dad. And it’s good news not just for him but for the Phillies and their fans as well. Why? Because as Bill noted earlier this week, Harper seems to hit better when he’s being taunted and mocked. For now that’s not very important, as the child won’t be talking for some time. As a father of teenagers, I can tell you that eventually the little monsters live to disrespect their dear old dads. If Harper’s current motivational patterns hold, by the time that kid is ten Harper will be winning the dang Triple Crown every year.

But again, congratulations to the Harpers.