The Rangers announce “The Choomongous”

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It’s cute when a team announces that it’s offering some new bacon burger or something. Because then you see what the Rangers are doing in Texas and it gives you a new appreciation for insane concessions. When it comes to this stuff y’all are playing checkers. The Rangers are playing chess.

In recent years they have featured “The Boomstick,” which is a 2-foot all-beef hot dog, smothered in chili, nacho cheese, jalapeños and caramelized onions, weighing a total of three pounds. Now they have these new things:

and

and

Then someone in my Twitter feed said that they sell “frozen beer” there too, which is a total gamechanger if I do say so myself.

Everything is bigger in Texas. Including the cholesterol counts and pants sizes.