Great. I got traded to the Phillies. Even though I was in the Best Shape of My Life.

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Schroeder: What do you mean Craig Calcaterra wasn’t so great? 

Lucy: He never got his picture on bubblegum cards, did he? Have you ever seen his picture on a bubblegum card? Hmmm? How can you say someone is great who’s never had his picture on bubblegum cards? 

Schroeder: Good grief. 

Take that, Lucy:

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This awesomeness comes from my friend and longtime HBT (and ShysterBall) reader Levi Stahl and his wife Stacey Shintani. They are throwing an Opening Day party on March 22 and made these things up as invitations. Stacey, my sources tell me, did the design and photo work while Levi was responsible for the somewhat offensive editorial content on the back of the card. Also: there was a stick of gum in the pack. UPDATE: I wasn’t aware of this when I first posted, but I believe the cards were made with the totally awesome Rookies App, which I can’t imagine not having before now.

And it’s also worth noting that Levi’s reference to Operation Shutdown on the back is apropos. If I got traded to the Phillies, it’d definitely be time for Operation Shutdown. I do NOT compete with Cody Asche for playing time, Jack. Especially if it means playing in freakin’ Philly.

David Price exits start with flu-like symptoms

David Price
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Red Sox southpaw David Price was lifted in the first inning of Saturday’s game against the Astros. While there was some initial concern that he might have trigged the elbow tendinitis that has been affecting him lately, manager Alex Cora was quick to clarify the situation as the result of “flu-like symptoms.”

Price pitched just 2/3 of an inning, inducing a first-pitch fly out from Aledmys Díaz, striking out Alex Bregman, and allowing a single to Michael Brantley before making his departure from the mound. He was replaced by rookie right-hander Colten Brewer.

Barring further complications, Price will likely stay on track to make his next scheduled start during the Red Sox’ upcoming road trip. Entering Saturday’s match-up, the 33-year-old lefty carried a 2-2 record in seven starts with a 3.29 ERA, 2.2 BB/9, and 10.1 SO/9 across 41 innings in 2019.

Following Price’s removal, the Red Sox are still tied 0-0 with the Astros in the fifth.