Grant Balfour’s truck is absolutely ridiculous

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Yo dawg, I heard you liked to compensate, so we gave you a big giant truck with two levels of running boards and a big neon sign that says “I’m compensating for something” on the side. Except the sign is on back order and won’t be in until next week!

 

I’m not reflexively anti-truck or SUV. They have their uses. People who have to haul things or drive through snow or rough terrain. People with big families. Heck, I understand even if it’s just a matter of you wanting to sit up high and feel like a big guy once in a while. It’s bad for gas, but there are way worse offenses against humanity than that. Live and let live.

But seriously, what kind of a person other than a total jackwagon drives a truck like this? The guy works in Florida, hauls a bag with a mitt in it at most and probably drives there by himself. Go get something more modest, Grant. Like an EM-50 Urban Assault Vehicle.

Cubs place Brandon Morrow on disabled list with biceps inflammation

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ESPN’s Jesse Rogers reports that the Cubs have placed closer Brandon Morrow on the 10-day disabled with inflammation in his right biceps. Manager Joe Maddon said he doesn’t anticipate Morrow being on the DL for much more than the minimum 10 days. He said, “Velocity was down last outing. I asked him about it after the game and could tell he was holding something back. Said it was just that time of year.”

Morrow, 33, has had an excellent season for the Cubs, saving 22 games with a 1.47 ERA and a 31/9 K/BB ratio in 30 2/3 innings. The right-hander is under contract next year at $9 million and has a 2020 vesting option worth $12 million with a $3 million buyout.

Steve Cishek and Pedro Strop will likely handle save situations while Morrow is out.