The Cardinals and Daniel Descalso avoid arbitration with a one-year deal

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People paying attention to the Super Bowl when there’s big news like this from baseball:

 

Descalso requested $1.65 million and the Cards offered $930,000.

There. I’ve sunk to a “utility infielder avoids arbitration” post. Are you happy, world? The offseason has officially hit its nadir.

Now: back to working on my action movie script in which Chipper Jones saves America after the evil General Bonesteel tries to kidnap the president. I think I’ll call it “Chipper Jones: Bonesteel.” I don’t have the plot worked out completely yet, but his secret weapon is his Yicketty Stick on which he goes Mammo on his enemies. And when he needs to get out of a tight spot fast, he summons his helicopter by barking “Chopper to Chipper!” into a two-way radio.

I figure it’ll make, like, a billion dollars once you figure in international box office.

Report: Mets, Jose Quintana agree to 2-year, $26 million deal

Jeff Curry-USA TODAY Sports
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SAN DIEGO — The New York Mets and José Quintana agreed to a two-year, $26 million contract, adding another veteran arm to the team’s rotation.

A person familiar with the negotiations confirmed the move to The Associated Press on condition of anonymity because the deal was pending a physical.

New York has been rebuilding its pitching staff following a playoff loss to San Diego in the wild-card round. Three members of its rotation became free agents this offseason, and the Mets also had several openings in their bullpen.

Ace right-hander Justin Verlander agreed to a two-year, $86.7 million contract with New York.

Quintana played for Pittsburgh and St. Louis last season, going 6-7 with a 2.93 ERA in 32 starts. The left-hander was terrific after he was traded to the Cardinals in August, posting a 2.01 ERA in 12 appearances for the NL Central champions.

Quintana also worked 5 1/3 scoreless innings for St. Louis in his lone playoff start, but the Cardinals were eliminated by Philadelphia.