Quiet Riot: Ryan Theriot retires

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He didn’t play in 2013, but it wasn’t for lack of interest on his part. Now he’s done, though: Chris Cotillo of MLB Daily Dish reports that Ryan Theriot is officially retired.

Theriot ends his career with a line of .281/.341/.350 and 17 homers across eight big league seasons with four teams, mostly the Cubs. He may be best remembered among smarty-pants internet people as the inspiration for TOOTBLAN.  And while Cooperstown is not in the offing, he is a shoe-in candidate for the Hall of Guys Who We Remember Playing Some Infield at Some Point Back in the Oughts.

He should probably be inducted alongside Mike Fontenot, who will become eligible for the honor at the same time.

Nick Pivetta to rejoin Phillies’ rotation

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Matt Breen of the Philadelphia Inquirer reports that Nick Pivetta will rejoin the Phillies’ rotation, starting Tuesday’s series opener at home against the Cardinals. Vince Velasquez will remain in the bullpen.

Pivetta, 26, allowed 17 earned runs on 31 hits and eight walks with 16 strikeouts in 18 1/3 innings across his first four starts of the season. The performance resulted in a demotion to Triple-A Lehigh Valley. In six starts there, Pivetta had a much better 3.41 ERA with a 50/20 K/BB ratio in 37 innings of work.

Velasquez, 26, was solid as a starter, posting a 3.99 ERA across six starts. However, he averaged under five innings and 92 pitches per start. The right-hander tossed two scoreless innings out of the bullpen on Friday against the Brewers but was torched for four runs in two-thirds of an inning on Sunday. Mixed results, to say the least. The Phillies are trying to do what they can with their bullpen, currently missing David Robertson, Tommy Hunter, Pat Neshek, and Vìctor Arano.