This Phillie Phanatic parody video will haunt your nightmares

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The Phillie Phanatic is good for a laugh a majority of the time, whether he’s cavorting around Citizens Bank Park in his ATV, posing for pictures with fans in the stands, or rifling individually-wrapped hot dogs into the 400-level. The Phanatic, who hails from the Galapagos Islands (of Charles Darwinian fame), will be entering his 36th year of existence on this planet and he has become as much a part of the Phillies franchise as the athletes who don the red pinstripes themselves.

The Phillies’ latest creation involving the Phanatic is nightmare fuel, however. In an attempt to parody the popular YouTube video “What Does the Fox Say?” by Norwegian duo Ylvis, the Phillies created, “What’s the Phanatic Say?” It’s… something.

This, not the five-year, $125 million contract extension given to Ryan Howard, will be the lasting legacy of GM Ruben Amaro’s tenure with the Phillies.

Report: Pirates to convert JB Shuck into two-way player

JB Shuck
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Rob Biertempfel of The Athletic reports that the Pirates have decided to convert outfielder JB Shuck into a two-way player. Recent comments relayed from the club’s director of player development, Larry Broadway, indicated that the outfielder would be coached in developing his pitching skills while working at Triple-A Indianapolis.

Per Broadway, the change would be enacted to help the veteran outfielder develop some much-needed versatility in the majors, where he’s only ever been limited to outfield and DH responsibilities. Well, except for the two games in which he pitched an inning of relief: once, against the Nationals in a blowout 11-4 loss in 2016, then in a similarly painful loss to the Diamondbacks this past April. During the latter outing, he finished the game with a 13-pitch ninth inning after allowing just one hit and one walk.

Add to that one minor-league outing in 2012, and the 31-year-old Shuck has pitched just three times over the course of his 12-season career in pro ball. While he has three years of experience on the mound from his college days, he’ll need quite a bit of preparation to handle the kind of workload expected from a two-way outfielder/reliever: 20+ innings pitched over a season and 20+ games played as a designated hitter or position player.

Still, his lack of experience doesn’t seem to faze Broadway, at least not this early in the process. There’s no word yet on how soon Shuck would be expected to debut his new skillset on a major-league level.