Wanna buy “beard ball trophies” made out of the Red Sox’ beard hair?

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Of course you do!

You’ll recall earlier this month that several members of the Boston Red Sox shaved their beards at the Gillette’s “World Shaving Headquarters.” Well, they saved all of those beautiful scraggly and curly hairs and made stuff out of it. And now you can buy stuff made out of those scraggly and curly beard hairs. If that’s your thing:

After saying goodbye to their beards at Gillette World Shaving Headquarters on Monday, November 4, you may have thought the famed facial hair was gone forever.  Were they washed down the drains of Gillette’s World Shave Headquarters? Flushed into the Atlantic? No. In fact, every strand of the biggest beards of baseball was saved.

The shavings and the actual Gillette Fusion ProGlide razors that were used to shave each champion beard have been assembled as unique pieces of memorabilia in sports history – beard ball trophies – and today, they are up for auction on eBay with 100% of the proceeds going directly to Movember . . .

Interested bidders can place their bids for Victorino’s beard ball trophy here http://tinyurl.com/l8cawvz and Ortiz’s beard ball trophy here http://tinyurl.com/phxe7hk. Bidding on Ortiz’s is up to $177 as I type this. Victorino’s is up to $107.50.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go find assemble my own discarded body hair into some sort of salable good. Or barf. Not sure which.

Pitch clock cut minor league games by 25 minutes to 2:38

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NEW YORK — Use of pitch clocks cut the average time of minor league games by 25 minutes this year, a reduction Major League Baseball hopes is replicated when the devices are installed in the big leagues next season.

The average time of minor league games dropped to 2 hours, 38 minutes in the season that ended Wednesday, according to the commissioner’s office. That was down from 3:03 during the 2021 season.

Clocks at Triple-A were set at 14 seconds with no runners on base and 19 with runners. At lower levels, the clocks were at 18 seconds with runners.

Big league nine-inning games are averaging 3:04 this season.

MLB announced on Sept. 9 that clocks will be introduced in the major leagues next year at 15 seconds with no runners and 20 seconds with runners, a decision opposed by the players’ association.

Pitchers are penalized a ball for violating the clock. In the minors, violations decreased from an average of 1.73 per game in the second week to 0.41 in week 24.

There will be a limit of two pickoff attempts or stepoffs per plate appearance, a rule that also was part of the minor league experiment this season. A third pickoff throw that is not successful would result in a balk.

Stolen bases increased to an average of 2.81 per game from 2.23 in the minors this year and the success rate rose to 78% from 68%.

Many offensive measurements were relatively stable: runs per team per game increased to 5.13 from 5.11 and batting average to .249 from .247.

Plate appearances resulting in home runs dropped to 2.7% from 2.8%, strikeouts declined to 24.4% from 25.4% and walks rose to 10.5% from 10.2%. Hit batters remained at 1.6%.