We could’ve had a movie called “Go to Hell, Mike Piazza”

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Ben Stiller is kinda vexing. Sometimes he’s pretty great (see, “The Ben Stiller Show,” “Zero Effect,” “Royal Tenenbaums”) sometimes he’s pretty insufferable (see, “Most Everything Else He’s Done”).  I can’t decide how this one woulda played out on that continuum, but I think I would’ve at least gone and seen it.

The movie: a script from the early 2000s in which Stiller played a character with a longstanding personal vendetta against Mike Piazza. Who would’ve played himself in the movie:

The draft of the script I have opens on superstar catcher Mike Piazza playing a game for the New York Mets in 1998 when a naked guy runs onto the field. With the words “Piazza sucks” painted across his chest and “Piazza can kiss my ass” on his back (with an arrow downward, of course), the naked guy screams at Piazza as he kicks dirt at him and avoids security while the crowd cheers him on. We freeze frame and hear a voiceover: “Wait, maybe I should start from the beginning…”

An entire plot summary is at the link. Complete with Tommy Lasorda cameo.

Obviously Piazza and Stiller are now too old to do this — it requires a current major leaguer — but I sorta feel like this one can and should be done with someone else.

Bryce Harper: call your agent.

Dustin Pedroia going back on injured list

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Welp, that didn’t last long. Red Sox second baseman Dustin Pedroia is going back on the injured list with more knee issues. If it matters the Sox say it’s not a big deal and they expect him back sooner rather than later, but they also said that his post-2017 knee surgery was just a “cleanup” at first and that basically cost him a year. So.

Pedroia has played in six games and is 2-for-20 with a walk.

I don’t think it’s hyperbole to say that Pedroia’s career may be nearing an end. Sure, he’s under contract for two more years after this season, but he’s also in a unfortunate spiral that so many players experience in their mid-to-late 30s.

Running a website like this makes it all the clearer, actually. When you search a player’s name in our CMS, you get every post in which he appears in reverse chronological order. Just about every long-tenured player ends with about six posts in which he is alternately placed on and activated from the disabled/injured list. Then an offseason link to a big feature in which he’s written about as being “at a crossroads” followed by something vague about “resuming baseball activities” and then, inevitably, the retirement announcement. I can’t count the number of guys whose careers I can tick off in that way by browsing the guts of this site.

I hope that’s not the case for Pedroia. I hope that there’s a “Pedroia wins Comeback Player of the Year” post in the future. Or at the very least a silly “Miller’s Crossing” reference in an “And that Happened” in which I say “the old man’s still an artist with the Thompson” after he peppers the ball around in some 3-for-4, two-double game. I want that stuff to happen.

It’s just that, if you watch this game long enough, you realize how unlikely that is once a player starts to break down.