The Red Sox are in trouble with the American Mustache Institute

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This is somewhat less serious than an investigation from the Department of Labor.  But it is scary all the same!  A letter from the American Mustache Institute to the General Counsel of the Boston Red Sox:

We at the American Mustache Institute (AMI) applaud you and the Boston Red Sox for your extraordinary success in this 2013 Major League Baseball Season and wish you the best against the St. Louis Cardinals in what all of America hopes will be a competitive World Series matchup.

However, while each member of the Mustached American community appreciates your team’s harnessing of facial hair towards athletic excellence, your marketing of beardism violates the expressed federal trademark of AMI’s ownership of the Sexually Dynamic Mustached American Lifestyle, and in particular, our legal right to approve via “expressed written consent” of any use of said beardism or mustacheularity in marketing the Red Sox’s winning ways or merchandise.

It’s an open and shut case, frankly. They’re probably seeking an injunction to force-shave the Sox before tomorrow night’s game as we speak.

Indians to sign Tyler Clippard

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Jon Heyman reports that the Indians are signing Tyler Clippard to a minor league deal. He’ll make $1.75 million if he makes the big league roster.

Clippard, a 12-year veteran who just turned 34, pitched in 73 games for the Blue Jays last year, posting a 3.67 ERA and a K/BB ratio of 85/23 in 68.2 innings. It was a nice bounce back year for him after he spent 2017 bouncing among three different teams in the course of a below average campaign.

With the departures of Andrew Miller and Cody Allen, and the elevation of Brad Hand to the closer’s role, Terry Francona will be looking for all the mid-innings help he can get in the Indians’ pen. Clippard could fit that bill.