Major League Baseball: no conclusions can be drawn from the Jon Lester video

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Enough of a ruckus was raised by the video of Jon Lester floating around that Major League Baseball has issued a statement on the matter:

“We cannot draw any conclusions from this video. There were no complaints from the Cardinals and the umpires never detected anything indicating a foreign substance throughout the game.”

Silly baseball. Don’t they know in situations like this you’re supposed to jump to conclusions swiftly, not attempt to draw them. Total killjoys, the lot of them.