Congressman responds to fan letter applying government shutdown logic to the Braves-Dodgers game

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Yesterday we ran the letter Paul Kaplan wrote to his congressman, Jack Kingston, in which he satirically suggested that the same logic behind the government shutdown be applied to the Braves-Dodgers game.  The letter has gone viral, as the kids say, and it has now inspired a response from Congressman Kingston.

It’s over at Fox Sports.com by Sam Gardner. It reads:

Dear Mr. Kaplan,

Thank you very much for your letter regarding the potential demise of baseball. Some have suggested it was a rhetorical squeeze play or a hit and run since the letter was posted online before it was actually mailed to me. Of course, it could be languishing in the post office. Sometimes, it’s hard to know when the mail service is open or closed.

I agree with you that Republicans and the Braves have much in common. You could say that the Republicans “Bravely” take on tough issues such as defunding Obamacare and trying to curtail runaway spending. And we don’t mind clearing the dugout for a good brawl. We also agree that Dodgers is a fitting name for the Democrats as they often “Dodge” serious issues such as balancing the budget or cutting spending.

Where we disagree is the game itself. If Uribe had decent bunting skills, he would have simply tied the score. Thus, the game would have continued. In such a situation, neither the Dodgers nor the Braves would have walked off the field crying “I will not ‘negotiate’ or, in this case, bat.” No, they would have stayed engaged and slugged it out. But, alas, Uribe can’t bunt — so game over.

On the bright side, winning the pennant doesn’t guarantee world peace. In fact, there are other glimmers of hope in the universe. Did you see the UGA-Tennessee game? Obviously, there is a God in Heaven. Or as we say in Athens: How ‘bout them Dawgs?

Sincerely,

Jack Kingston
Member of Congress

So, as far as I can tell, the Republican Kingston is suggesting that the opposition — be it the Dodgers or Democrats — execute a bunt. A play which makes no tactical sense, would be self-defeating and would serve no one’s interests other than the Braves/Republicans.

Man, this analogy approximates reality even better than we first thought.

Free agent slugger José Abreu signs 3-year, $58.5M deal with Astros

Kamil Krzaczynski-USA TODAY Sports
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HOUSTON — Jose Abreu and the World Series champion Astros agreed to a three-year, $58.5 million contract, adding another powerful bat to Houston’s lineup.

Abreu, the 2020 AL MVP, gets $19.5 million in each of the next three seasons.

He spent his first nine major league seasons with the Chicago White Sox. The first baseman became a free agent after batting .304 with 15 home runs, 75 RBIs and an .824 OPS this year.

With the Astros, he replaces Yuli Gurriel at first base in a batting order that also features All-Star sluggers Yordan Alvarez, Jose Altuve, Alex Bregman and Kyle Tucker.

Gurriel became a free agent after Houston defeated the Philadelphia Phillies this month for its second World Series championship.

The 35-year-old Abreu becomes the biggest free agent to switch teams so far this offseason. Born in Cuba, the three-time All-Star and 2014 AL Rookie of the Year is a .292 career hitter in the majors with 243 homers, 863 RBIs and an .860 OPS.

The Astros announced the signing. Abreu was scheduled to be introduced in a news conference at Minute Maid Park.

He would get a $200,000 for winning an MVP award, $175,000 for finishing second in the voting, $150,000 for third, $125,000 for fourth and $100,000 for fifth. Abreu also would get $100,000 for earning World Series MVP and $75,000 for League Championship Series MVP, $75,000 for making the All-Star team and $75,000 for winning a Gold Glove or a Silver Slugger.

Abreu gets a hotel suite on road trips and the right to buy a luxury suite for all Astros home games.