And That Happened: SPECIAL BEN AFFLECK AS BATMAN EDITION

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Before the scores, some important Batman news. You may want to scroll down past this, because I’m gonna take a bit of time here.

In case you missed it last night, Ben Affleck has been cast as the Dark Knight in the upcoming Batman/Superman movie. Many people alerted me to this news last night the way you might alert a mother that her child has died. They tried to break it gently. They made sure that I was not in distress as I tried to process the news. When they saw me in a state less than tears, they assumed I was in the denial stage of the grieving process. It was quite the scene.

But while I thank my friends, real and virtual, for thinking of me and assuming that I would utterly lose it at the thought of Affleck as Batman, I’m really OK with it. Why? Because — and please brace yourself for some Real Talk — Christian Bale wasn’t anything extraordinary or irreplaceable as Batman. There, I said it.

“Batman Begins” was an incredible movie and, in it, Bale was fantastic. He played the young Bruce Wayne wonderfully and helped connect a, let’s admit it, somewhat silly character to us as viewers. It was real acting from a guy who is an incredible actor. “The Dark Knight” was an even better movie. Just perfect on almost every level. But Bale was nowhere near the best part of that movie. His growly voice as Batman may have been faithful to certain comic book interpretations and may have made sense in the “real world” version of Batman that Christopher Nolan was going for, but it was distracting. And his Bruce Wayne scenes, while fine, didn’t exactly require Oscar-level acting. You can almost see Bale getting a bit bored with the Wayne stuff at times. He’s above it.

“Dark Knight Rises” was a pretty bad movie. Let us not pretend it wasn’t. Some cool scenes and set pieces, but it was pretty weak. You may bristle at this — and, like a kid brother, I may defend it to outsiders who don’t understand that Batman is awesome overall — but among friends we need to be honest about the fact that it was a pile compared to the other two. And, I would argue, compared to the two Michael Keaton Batman movies in at least certain respects.

So: no, this isn’t like hiring Jack Lemmon to play Don Corleone in “Godfather Part II.” This isn’t like getting Robin Williams to play Hannibal Lecter in “Silence of the Lambs II: Electric Boogaloo.” Affleck has dark hair and a square jaw and as we saw in “Argo” he can play it straight and act like a real adult and not be some stereotypical Boston goon like we often consider him to be. He’ll be fine.

We survived Val Kilmer and George Clooney. We can survive Ben Affleck. End of rant.

[exhales, sits back, stares emptily into middle distance]

Dodgers 6, Marlins 0: Clayton Kershaw (8 IP, 5 H, 0 ER) is like Doctor Manhattan. So superior and gifted that the mortals bore and disappoint him. He’s likely considering going to another planet to find new challenges for himself. He didn’t even have his best stuff yesterday and no one could really touch him. It’s almost unfair.

Pirates 10, Giants 5: Quite the disaster for the Giants as Matt Cain left early after taking a comebacker off his right arm. Thankfully X-Rays were negative. The bullpen, sadly, was pretty negative for the Giants too. And while ten runs and a win was nice for the Pirates, they have to be worried about Jeff Locke, who is looking increasingly gassed and ineffective as the season winds down.

Reds 2, Diamondbacks 1: Four wild pitches for Arizona, a couple which set up the Reds run in the third and another that actually scored the winning run in the eighth. The Reds took three of four from the Dbacks, effectively burying them in the wild card race, one figures.

Yankees 5, Blue Jays 3: A lot of the people who think it’s a longshot for the Yankees to get back into the race and make the playoffs think this because the starting pitching has been so poopy lately. As such, seeing Andy Pettitte allow one run over six innings has to be, at the very least, encouraging. The Yanks have won five in a row and ten of twelve. A-Rod for MVP.

Twins 7, Tigers 6:  Chris Herrmann had a couple of RBI doubles, one of which was aided by Austin Jackson misplaying the ball. The Twins take two of three from Detroit.

Nationals 5, Cubs 4: Stephen Strasburg was one out from a complete game but then he ran out of gas and had some defensive miscues behind him allowing the Cubs to rally for three runs. Four innings later Denard Span doubled and some small ball scored him for the go-ahead and, ultimately, winning run.

White Sox 4, Royals 3: Chicago fought back from a three-run deficit to force extras and then Conor Gillaspie socked a homer in the 12th. Pretty sure that’s the first time I ever used the phrase “socked a homer” in my life. Weird.

Phillies 5, Rockies 4: Philly scored four of their five runs in the last two innings, capped with Domonic Brown’s walkoff single. Oh, remember yesterday when I suggested that a walkoff sac fly was the least exciting walkoff event? I’m now thinking a walkoff balk qualifies. By definition it requires the absolute bare minimum of movement to happen. Like, a simple flinch could make it happen. Would love to see a World Series end on a walkoff balk. Joe Buck would probably capture that moment for the ages.

Cardinals 6, Braves 2: Joe Kelly wasn’t sharp but he was effective. Jordan Schafer was 0 for 5 with two strikeouts leading off for Atlanta. The Braves are gonna miss Jason Heyward something fierce.

And That Happened: Tuesday’s Scores and Highlights

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Here are the scores. Here are the highlights:

Giants 2, Dodgers 1: The game is the game  — Alen Hanson singled in two runs for the Giants and all the Dodgers got was an RBI single from Manny Machado — but the big story here, obviously, was the benches-clearing brawl kicked off by a shoving match between Yasiel Puig and Nick Hundley.

Everyone is going to talk about the argument and the shoving — including Puig reaching over the guys holding him back to give an open-handed smack to Hundley’s mask-covered face, as you can see in the video below — but I’m more interested in what started it.

As the Giants announcers note, Hundley’s comments to Puig were no doubt some sort of smack talk about Puig being frustrated that he didn’t handle a pitch he thought he should’ve handled. In other words, Puig was mad at himself for not executing and Hundley decided that him being mad at himself is somehow “showing up” Giants pitcher Tony Watson.

What the hell is that about?

Why is it that pitchers can cuss and scream and yell at the sky when they don’t execute a pitch — and my God, do they, as they always have — but if a batter is mad at himself for not putting his best swing on a fat pitch, he’s somehow unsportsmanlike? Or is it just the Giants — who have raced to the top of the “play the game the right way or we’re gonna get a case of the red-ass” rankings over the years — who get mad at this? It’s certainly the case that they’ve made it their mission to police Yasiel Puig. Remember Madison Bumgarner going off on Puig simply for Puig looking at him? And for a bat flip? I’m filing this in that category. My God, they need to get over that guy.

Rockies 5, Astros 1: Justin Verlander was good (6 IP, 6 H, 2 ER, 11K) but German Marquez was better (7 IP, 3 H, 1 ER, 7K) and then the Rockies unloaded for three more runs against the Astros’ pen. Nolan Arenado and Trevor Story went deep and the Astros went down for the fifth straight game which, combined with the A’s win, reduced their AL West lead to a single game.

Athletics 3, Mariners 2: Mike Fiers won his first game as an Athletic — and the Athletics won their second game started by Mike Fiers — by allowing two runs over six. Marcus Semien and Jed Lowrie each went deep. The M’s hung in there pretty admirably considering they lost ace James Paxton in the first inning after he was hit by a comebacker on his pitching arm. Luckily for them Paxton only seems to have a contusion and is considered day-to-day. At the end of the day it was the A’s fourth straight win and, as noted, they are now a day’s work, and a little help from the Rockies, from moving into first place.

Cardinals 6, Nationals 4: On the bright side, the Nats’ bullpen didn’t blow this one. Heck, they only gave up one run in four innings of work. The Cards scored five off of Washington starter Gio Gonzalez, however, with Cardinals starter John Gant hitting a homer and Kolten Wong adding a bomb of his own. Gant likewise allowed only one run while pitching into the sixth and the Nats’ late attempt at a comeback, fueled by a two-run homer from Bryce Harper, fell short. The Cardinals have won nine of ten and climb to within four games of the Cubs in the Central and are only a game behind the Phillies in the Wild Card race. I guess firing Mike Matheny was the right move, huh? Washington, meanwhile, has lost six of eight and falls eight games back in the NL East. Turn out the lights, the party’s over.

Brewers 7, Cubs 0: Ryan Braun hit two homers and drove in four, Lorenzo Cain and Erik Kratz each went deep too and Jhoulys Chacin dominated the Cubs for seven innings, shutting them out and punching out 10. Not literally, of course. Apparently the high of Sunday night’s walkoff win didn’t carry over the off-day on Monday for Chicago. Indeed, the 2018 Cubs have been a case study in anti-momentum.

Orioles 6, Mets 3: The Mets held a 2-1 lead heading into the bottom of the sixth but Adam Jones homered then, Chris Davis homered in the seventh and Tim Beckham homered in the eighth to help Baltimore push past ’em. That ends the Orioles’ five-game losing streak but fear not: today is a new day and a new losing streak is always likely to begin once again.

Yankees 4, Rays 1: J.A. Happ allowed only one hit over seven innings, continuing his strong run to begin the Yankees portion of his career. It was his third win in as many starts since being acquired. Austin Romine hit a two-run homers, Greg Bird knocked in a run on a double, Aaron Hicks singled in a run and Miguel Andujar doubled twice.

Red Sox 2, Phillies 1: The Yankees have won seven of nine since that ugly sweep at the hands of the Red Sox the weekend before last, but they’ve actually lost ground to Boston in the standings, which has won seven of eight in that time. They’re just a machine. Here it was Rick Porcello allowing only one run while striking out ten over seven innings, backed by just enough offense in the form of solo homers from Sandy Leon and Brock Holt. Holt’s was a pinch-hit number. Holt’s was the 168th homer hit by the Red Sox in 2018. They hit 168 bombs in the entire 2017 season.

White Sox 6, Tigers 3: It was 3-3 after the first inning and 3-0 from then on out. Two of the White Sox’ first inning runs came on a two-run sacrifice fly. Yes, you heard me:

There cannot be enough Pepto in the world for Ron Gardenhire after watching that play.

Indians 8, Reds 1: Corey Kluber allowed one run over seven. The Indians were nowhere nearly as impressed with Reds starter Sal Romano, who got tagged for six runs on seven hits in the first inning and two-thirds. The Indians only got three hits for the rest of the game after Romano left, but one of ’em was a two-run Jose Ramirez homer. He went 3-for-5 on the night. Yonder Alonso drove in three runs in the first two innings.

Braves 10, Marlins 6: The Ronald Acuña show continued as the Braves young rookie hit his third leadoff home run in as many games, added another bomb for his sixth homer in the past five games and his eighth homer in his last eight games. He’s also drove in four, giving him 15 RBI in his last eight games. He pushed his batting line up to .288/.346/.576 on the season. Guess those couple of weeks in the minors at the beginning of the year are what made him good. Freddie Freeman hit his 20th homer to tie the game in the sixth, and Dansby Swanson hit a tiebreaking RBI single in the seventh as the Braves win for the 13th time in their last 17 games and take a two-game lead in the NL East over Philly.

Diamondbacks 6, Rangers 4: Patrick Corbin allowed three over seven Daniel Descalso drove in two runs and scored on a wild pitch in the first four innings which, along with a Paul Goldschmidt homer, put the Snakes up 4-0 early and they held on. Corbin hasn’t given up a homer in ten starts. That ties him with Chris Sale for the longest such streak going right now.

Twins 5, Pirates 2: Pittsburgh jumped out to an early 2-0 lead but that’s all they’d get. Miguel Sano hit a two-run homer, Jake Cave singled in a run and Jorge Polanco knocked in two with a single. That was actually the reverse order in which it happened. I put it that way because I’m receiving fat product placement money from the author Martin Amis in service of a viral marketing campaign for his 1991 novel, Time’s Arrow. Just felt like I should offer full disclosure there, as I know I have built up a lot of trust with y’all over the years.

Blue Jays 6, Royals 5: Kevin Pillar hit a two-run homer in the eighth to turn a 5-4 deficit into a 6-5 lead for Toronto and that lead would hold up. He had earlier singled in the Jays’ second run of the game. Danny Jansen went deep. Russell Martin got plunked once with the bases loaded to drive in a run the hard way. Adalberto Mondesi had four hits, including two doubles, stole three bases, drove in a run and scored a run for Kansas City but baseball is a team sport so none of that ultimately mattered.

Angels 7, Padres 3: Threes ruled for the Angels. Justin Upton had three hits, homered for the second straight game and drove in three, Taylor Ward made his big league debut, doubled in a run and reached base safely three times and Eric Young Jr. tripled — three bases! — and had two RBI for Los Angeles. Man, if he had only drove in three it would’ve been important. It would’ve meant something. *sculpts potatoes*