Meanwhile, this is how drug testing is going in the NFL

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Baseball has allegedly been ruined by drugs and doesn’t get it and the records have all been distorted and it’s a big fat disgrace and oh my goodness won’t someone think of the children.

Meanwhile, in the nation’s most popular sport:

NFL players will have a blood sample taken during training camp physicals as part of a population study for human growth hormone in order to determine the threshold for a positive test … The NFLPA board said in the memo that “several additional issues” need to be resolved, including the “issue of discipline” before an agreement with the NFL on HGH testing is reached and a proposal is brought to the players for a vote.

A source, meanwhile, told ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter that even with the population study, “No one will be suspended for HGH use in 2013.”

I feel like this — a place where baseball was a couple of years ago — is going to be applauded as the NFL getting tough on drugs. Meanwhile, when players are actually disciplined under baseball’s drug testing program, people point at it as evidence of a problem. Maybe the NFL will get that treatment in 2014 or 2015 when they suspend their first 300+ pound speedster for drugs.

Heh, who am I kidding? The NFL will get a second tongue-bath for getting tough when that happens. If it happens.

Astros clinch postseason berth with 11-3 win over Angels

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No surprise here: The Astros are headed back to the postseason to defend their title following a landslide 11-3 win over the Angels on Friday. This figures to be their third playoff run since 2015, though they have yet to wrap up the AL West with a division title.

First baseman Yuli Gurriel led the charge on Friday, smashing a grand slam in the first inning and tacking on a two-run homer in the second and RBI single in the fifth to help the Astros to a seven-run lead. The Angels eventually returned fire, first with Mike Trout‘s 418-foot homer in the sixth, then with an RBI hit from Francisco Arcia in the seventh, but they couldn’t close the gap in time to overtake the Astros.

On the mound, right-hander Gerrit Cole clinched his 15th win of the year after holding the Angels to seven innings of three-run, 12-strikeout ball. His sixth strikeout of the night — delivered on an 83.1-MPH knuckle curveball to Kaleb Cowart — also marked the 1,000th strikeout of his career to date. He was backed by flawless performances by lefty reliever Tony Sipp and rookie right-hander Dean Deetz, both of whom turned in scoreless innings as the offense barreled toward an 11-3 finish with Jake Marisnick‘s sac bunt and George Springer‘s three-run shot in the eighth.

Despite having qualified for the playoffs, the Astros still carry a magic number of 6 as they look to clinch a third straight division title. They’re currently up against the Athletics, who entered Friday’s contest against the Twins just four games back of first place in the AL West.