Chris Carpenter scheduled to begin rehab assignment on Monday with Double-A Springfield

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As first reported Wednesday evening by Derrick Goold of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, veteran right-hander Chris Carpenter has been cleared to start a minor league rehab assignment on Monday with the Cardinals’ Double-A affiliate in Springfield, Missouri.

Carpenter threw over 100 pitches in a simulated game on Wednesday afternoon at Busch Stadium and reported no physical issues. He has been out all season — and was not expected to pitch at all in 2013 — due to lingering symptoms of thoracic outlet syndrome, but there have been no major issues thus far and his timetable to return to the major leagues will depend mostly on how well he pitches down on the farm.

Carpenter, 38, made only three regular-season starts in 2012 and three starts during the postseason. He pitched a league-high 237 1/3 innings in 2011 and then made six grueling starts in those playoffs.

If everything goes smoothly on his rehab assignment — which is far from a sure thing — Carpenter could become the Cardinals’ fifth starter by early August. Joe Kelly is currently filling that role.

Bryce Harper is on paternity leave

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Several years ago, Bryce Harper made news when it was revealed that he thought the word “meme” was pronounced “may-may.” That may be my favorite Bryce Harper moment ever.

As it was announced by the Phillies a little while ago that Harper has been placed on paternity leave, I’m wondering if he pronounces the word “baby” “bébé.”

I wouldn’t think less of him if he did, actually. One of my favorite people in the world does that.

Anyway, congratulations to Bryce Harper on becoming a dad. And it’s good news not just for him but for the Phillies and their fans as well. Why? Because as Bill noted earlier this week, Harper seems to hit better when he’s being taunted and mocked. For now that’s not very important, as the child won’t be talking for some time. As a father of teenagers, I can tell you that eventually the little monsters live to disrespect their dear old dads. If Harper’s current motivational patterns hold, by the time that kid is ten Harper will be winning the dang Triple Crown every year.

But again, congratulations to the Harpers.