The time the 1980s Astros used the occult to stop a losing streak

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Jim Deshaies explains that once, back in the late 80s, his Astros dropped a bunch of games in a row against the Padres in Jack Murphy Stadium despite being the better overall team. Frustrated, he and some of his teammates resorted to the dark arts:

Clearly it was time to change the karma. Some unknown force led me to a local book store where I happened upon a book on the occult, full of spells,incantations and the like.

Flipping through the pages I came upon a spell that would put a curse on one’s enemies house. Seemed like a fit. It called for twigs from 3 different types of trees. I gathered twigs from the first three trees I came upon brought them to the ballpark and gathered a pair of co-warlocks .(Larry Andersen and Dave Smith) The spell mandated we spit on the twigs then light them on fire and while smoldering recite the incantation:

Burner be burned,
Turner be turned
Let nothing but good
come from this wood.

Go read how it turned out. And whether the lesson is that the occult works or, rather, that momentum is the next day’s starting pitcher.

Note: Chris Truby did not play for the Astros for over a decade after this, so his well-known participation in the dark arts is totally unrelated.

Report: Rangers sign Jordan Lyles to two-year, $16 million deal

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The Athletic’s Ken Rosenthal reports that the Rangers and pitcher Jordan Lyles have agreed to a contract. ESPN’s Jeff Passan provided the details, reporting that it is a two-year, $16 million deal.

Lyles, 29, split last season between the Pirates and Brewers, performing much better with the latter. Overall, he compiled a 4.15 ERA with a 146 strikeouts and 55 walks across 141 innings. It was a return to full-time starting for Lyles, who had performed mostly as a reliever from 2016-18.

The Rangers also inked Kyle Gibson to a three-year, $30 million contract last week. Gibson and Lyles will join a rotation that also includes Mike Minor and Lance Lynn as well as youngster Kolby Allard.