And That Happened: Thursday’s scores and highlights

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Rangers 10, Tigers 4: So much for pitching porn. Darvish wasn’t exactly sharp early but he ultimately settled down. Meanwhile, who put the benzedrine in Mr. Verlander’s Ovaltine? He was a hot mess. And I do mean hot. He was lighting up the radar gun in the early innings but was overthrowing and seemed to have no idea where the ball was going. Just a mechanical disaster, really, unlike I’ve ever remembered seeing him. Darvish ended up going eight innings and improving to 7-1.

Mariners 3, Yankees 2: Andy Pettitte left with a muscle injury. Andy Pettitte is 40. So basically, this is his life now (warning: a bit of bad language, but if you’re 40, you NEED to hear this because it’s 100% true).

Mets 5, Cardinals 2: The Mets end a six-game skid behind five hits from Daniel Murphy and David Wright. From the AP gamer about Jon Niese:

Terry Collins thought it was no coincidence the lefty rediscovered his groove in shirt-sleeve weather and paved the way for the New York Mets’ slump-buster.

That word he used: I do not think it means what he thinks it means.

Pirates 7, Brewers 1: Travis Snider hit a 458 homer that ended up in the Allegheny River. Snider went 3 for 5 with three RBI and the Pirates won their sixth of seven.

Red Sox 4, Rays 3: Down 3-1 in the ninth, the Red Sox loaded the bases off Fernando Rodney and Will Middlebrooks cleared them with a double. Just bananas. Oh, sorry Fernando, not bananas at all. Rodney has already blown three saves this year. He only blew two last year.

Reds 5, Marlins 3: [Craig press three keys and his “The ____ sweep the Marlins” macro is activated]. This one was competitive at least, as Mat Latos ran out of gas in the ninth and Aroldis Chapman couldn’t close the deal either, sending it to extras. Brandon Phillips, who had homered earlier, hit a sac fly for the go-ahead run in the 10th.

Giants 8, Rockies 6: Down 6-0 early, the Giants put up five in the fourth and three in the sixth. I didn’t see the broadcast, but I’m gonna assume the announcers said “no lead is safe in Coors Field” approximately five times. San Francisco has beaten Colorado ten straight times.

White Sox 5, Angels 4: Yet another rally on a night that seemed to have many of them. The Sox were down two in the eighth when they scored three. The go-ahead run came on a bases-loaded walk to Jeff Keppinger, who had not walked in over 140 plate appearances so far this year.

Nationals 6, Padres 2: Stephen Strasburg pitched eight innings allowing only one earned run. Bryce Harper shook off his ailments from the fence collision in L.A. and hit a 432 foot homer in the seventh.

Ian Kinsler signs a two-year deal with the Padres

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Ken Rosenthal reports that Ian Kinsler is signing with the San Diego Padres on a two-year, $8 million deal.

A surprising multi-year deal for Kinsler, who will turn 37 next season, but it’s a pretty low financial outlay for the Padres. An understandably low one following a year in which Kinsler hit just .240/.301/.380 with 14 home runs and 16 stolen bases for the Angels and Red Sox. He can still pick it at the keystone, however, taking home Gold Glove honors there last season. He’ll turn 37 next June.

Kinsler will likely bump Luis Urias from second to short until top prospect Fernando Tatis, Jr. is called up to San Diego, at which point one presumes Urias will then, in turn, bump Kinsler off of second base into a bench role, at least if Urias performs. Given that Kinsler will not make much money on this deal, it’s not something the Padres are likely to sweat.