Great Moments in Wrigley Field Hate

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It’s just a hate-y day, I guess. This from Mike Bailey at KMOV in St. Louis, explaining why Wrigley Field sucks:

There is something ghastly about watching the St. Louis Cardinals play the Chicago Cubs at Wrigley Field akin to watching the prom queen dance with Quasimodo in a fetid alley … If Busch is baseball heaven, then Wrigley Field is that other place, a sort of baseball hell … They have another tradition, that of singing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” in the 7th inning, led off-key by some minor celebrity dragged in to aver his undying allegiance to a team whose moniker is “The Lovable Losers.”

And they are, in more ways than one.

Eh. Character goes a long way?

I dunno. I haven’t been to Busch Stadium so I can’t compare, but Wrigley is neither the gem a lot of people think it is nor the pit this guy says it is. It’s a pretty place to watch a game if you’re not hanging out with drunk post-collegiates in the bleachers. The bathrooms may be the worst thing on the planet, but there’s a lot more to do after a game nearby.  It needs an upgrade, but so do most 99 year-olds.

But I guess the Cardinals rabble has been roused by this, so good job.

Ichiro wore a fake mustache to sneak into the Mariners’ dugout

Associated Press
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Ichiro Suzuki is now a Mariners employee and, as such, he’s not allowed to sit in the dugout during a game. That’s for coaches and players only.

He knows that, too. Indeed, on the day Ichiro announced his sorta-retirement, he talked about how it was going to be hard not to be down on the field with the other players. He even made a ridiculous joke about how, “[he] can’t say for certain that maybe [he] won’t put on a beard and glasses and be like Bobby Valentine and be in the dugout.”

In related news, this mysterious stranger was seen by an Associated Press photographer in the Mariners dugout during the first couple of innings of the M’s-Yankees game:

(AP Photo/Bill Kostroun)

No beard, but I guess that joke was not very ridiculous after all. Either way, by the end of the second inning — poof — he was gone.

Obviously, when something interesting like this happens you mustache an expert for their opinion on the matter. To that end, the Associated Press reached Bobby Valentine, who famously did the same thing after an ejection way back in 1999, for comment:

“He was perfect. I never would have known it was him.”

Valentine was suspended for two games and fined $5,000. I’m assuming Ichiro won’t get hit quite as hard given that he wasn’t defying an umpire’s authority, but even if he does have to pay a fine, he’ll likely do so willingly.