Why am I watching this Braves-Rockies game?

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It was 23 degrees for the first pitch of the Braves-Rockies game. It’s the coldest game on record at Coors Field. And it’s the first of a day-night doubleheader. Guys are slaughtering tauntauns out there just to keep warm in between pitches.

In the fourth inning B.J. Upton struck out on a 64 m.p.h. pitch from Jeff Francis. Seconds later Chip Caray, referring to a home run by Evan Gattis — whose nickname is El Oso Blanco — said Gattis hit one “un-BEAR-ably” far.

I love my job and I love the fact that it allows me to sit here and watch baseball at 4:30 on a Tuesday afternoon, but man, this is pretty painful at the moment. Even with my team in the lead.

It sounds like a Manny Machado deal is all but done

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It occurs to me that maybe one of the reasons for all of the incremental rumors about Manny Machado that I mentioned earlier this morning is that he’s . . . already traded? Basically anyway?

I say this based on the latest report from Olney in which he says that the Orioles have the structure of a Manny Machado trade in place and are “going through the medicals/paperwork portion of the transaction.” He quickly adds that the Dodgers “have been very invested” in pursuing Machado but that “a deal is not finished yet.”

Here’s the actual tweet, since we’re parsing words:

As someone who has read trade rumors like it’s his job for the past decade, mostly because it is his job, here’s what Olney’s tweet says to me (and yes, this is all speculation, but it makes a ton of sense):

1. The Orioles have agreed to trade Machado, probably to the Dodgers since they’re mentioned first, but no one has given Buster the OK to actually report it as a done deal. The “not finished yet” is protection, showing that he didn’t spill the beans, but the mention of the Dodgers is a wink to folks to let them know that, yep, he knows what time it is;

2. They probably haven’t given him the OK to report it as a done deal because they want Machado to appear in the All-Star Game as an Oriole;

3. The second he’s removed from the game tonight, the news goes public. Or, if MLB is putting its finger on the scale and doesn’t want to distract from the All-Star Game, the second the game is over. Personally, though, if I was MLB I’d let the news come out during the game because people will stay tuned to wait for it.

Anyway, like I said, speculation. But I feel like it’s right.